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I love this contrast with the top comment (about lowering difficulty). Yeah, it was a struggle, but we got through, and it felt all the more satisfying for it! It doesn't feel satisfying to, for example, chop a tree in a game, because there's no challenge. Something can only really be satisfying if it challenges you (emotionally, intellectually, and/or in ability).
I think an additional undervalued part of not having difficulty settings is that we have a shared experience. Everyone who did it has shared in it. We know what they went through because there's only one way to do it. We don't have to ask about settings or anything, only that they accomplished the task.
For me though, the one I remember struggling with the most is O&S in DS1. I don't think they're actually the hardest boss FromSoft has made, but I've gotten far better at their games since then. Even their hardest bosses now I personally feel like they could be more challenging.
I'm with you. What these games are selling is that feeling you get after overcoming their challenges, and if you modify that, it's not the same product. It's like asking an artist to also offer their painting with changes to the colors, scene, or poses of the subjects to appeal to personal tastes - yes, they could do it, but it's a different piece of art at that point.
And omg yes, O&S. It's not as hard now after many years of playing souls-like games, but relatively it was so hard on my first exposure to dark souls in DS1. I had no idea what I was doing, my build was jank as hell, and it took ages to beat.