I wish for the genie to, as far as their power allows, to minimize all suffering across all beings that can suffer across all time, and keeping that at a minimum, to maximize pleasure across all beings that can feel pleasure across all time
this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2026
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The magnitude of this wish is beyond what the genie can pull off, best genie can do is free health/spa coupons. The genie sees what you were trying to do though and won't monkey's paw this one
I wish the genie can read my mind
I wish that the genie completely understand my thoughts and intentions
I wish that the genie is forced to only be able to grant me exactly what I'm thinking of, with no room for misinterpretation
Easy
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First wish free the genie
Now that the genie is free he is no longer constrained by all genie laws and enslaves us all for eternity! Great job now my weekend plans are completely ruined! /s
I would give my wishes to the genie.
You trust the genie too much!
First wish: the genie will be my eternal friend.
Second wish: free the genie from the geas — make the genie its own master.
There is no third wish.
First wish genie is an eternal friend but more like distant friend that would talk to you as a friend or give you a hand with moving but no more. then same as https://lemmy.ca/post/69470791/24857447 but maybe you get slightly nicer conditions?
The first is because of the Arabian Nights story where the guy frees the genie and the first thing it does is kill the wisher. There’s another where the first thing it does is puts the wisher in the bottle it was trapped in.
So “distant friend” is enough.
I'd wish for the ability to teleport anywhere I have already been. (I figure with quantum entanglement, the genie could grant this, our scientific knowledge isn't there yet.) I'd wish that at the end of each day my checking account fill back up to a balance of $5000. I'd wish for a refrigerator that appeared whatever food I wanted to eat.
The Genie grants part 1 but puts the cost of doing so on you as if you had to walk all the way there yourself(and doesn't tell you this). On wish 2 it grants this for you and every other person but also adds a $5000 fee for doing so(be thankful the genie didn't make it a greater fee!!), and for the last wish it will appear but if you try to eat it it disappears. :)
I get to teleport and loose weight at the same time. Double wish.
I wish that I would feel content with my life regardless of the circumstances I may find myself in.
I wish that the world is fair and just.
I wish that I had all the knowledge humans have ever known and could access that information easily and quickly without external assistance.
Genie explains that due to the laws of physics the rules covering not changing the past and general human psychology everything being fair and just is impossible due to scarcity and previous injustices, tones down your overall intelligence level enough to make you generally lack the sense of loss or wanting to make you generally content, then puts you in a room with access to a terminal that could give you info but you're generally too content to do anything/interact with it. The genie appreciates what you were trying to do though so it makes sure you still live an otherwise normal life.
My first wish is that my wishes are not corrupted, and they are fulfilled to the intent in my heart and mind without any trickery of bullshit.
My second wish is to have the ability to draw extremely well.
My third wish is that I can bring my drawings to life.
The last two powers will enable me to have infinite wishes by simply drawing things like immortality pills, scifi technology, and just straight up money if I wanted.
Genie grants your wishes but wipes your memory of having made these wishes and makes you dislike drawing :)
Doesn’t even have to be that… “bring to life…” so you draw an immortality pill, will it to life, and it then eats you before you have the chance to swallow it.
When it comes to life, it’s of course going to be alive, and scale wasn’t mentioned.
Replace the blood of every person that's SA'd someone with molten sodium chloride.
Drop a 6 foot by 2 inch tungsten rod from orbit onto anyone that's committed a warcrime, nailing them to the floor where they will be left as an example for everyone else.
Publically release complete documentation showing every country's actions that have been directly antagonistic to their own people (I'm talking EVERYTHING. Not just 'the files' but every action where a country has demonstrably done something that serves only the interests of the few at the cost of the people.)
The second one would include the creator of Stardew Valley for having a red cross on the hospital in game. Probably similar things like childrens drawings too…
How do they count?
Using the sign of the red cross when you’re not The Red Cross constitutes a violation of the Geneva convention. I.e. a war crime.
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Ive generally been of the view that instead of wishing for three specific things, one should instead wish for some kind of power that would then enable you to then grant yourself the things that you want (the most obvious thing might be wishing for omnipotence but this probably breaks, well, all of the rules since being able to do anything definitionally is incompatible with limits, but I suspect the limits of what is possible in this direction without breaking the laws of physics are still far beyond what humans are capable of), so as not to need the genie later when the wishes run out.
However, if you know the genie will twist your words, Im not sure that its safe to wish at all, its unlikely that you can come up with something that cant be twisted into something you dont want, language is just too ambiguous for that and the implication is that you're dealing with something that is both incredibly more capable than you and actively malicious, doing your best to avoid its attention is probably the safest bet.
That being said, if you must wish, I figure the way Id try to do it, if boring, is to say the outcome you want, without an "I wish" but with some clear marker on when your description starts and stops, like some gesture or nonsense word, and then something like "I wish that the statement that I previously made in between the two [whatever your marker was] is now true in the way that I, the person making this wish, presently desire and in no alternate way." It probably wont work because again, language is nearly infinitely ambiguous and the genie is much more powerful than you, but at least youre trying to avoid unintended interpretations.
Alternately, back when I still used reddit, I did once try the "monkey's paw" subreddit with "I wish to be satisfied with whatever the result of this wish is." and dont remember any of the answers I got actually twisting it much. Maybe something like that at least robs the genie of some of their fun.
See This is the kind of wish the genie respects! someone who realizes they've really run into effectively a lovecraftian God and actually suggests they wouldn't take the genie up on the wishes! I feel like the genie might do something minor for you like making sure you never stub your toe again or ensures you never rip your pants.
I think the proper answer to the whole make the genie do what I mean/understand me from the genie's perspective is to drive you insane by trying to give you genie like intelligence with our limited minds.
As to "I wish to be satisfied with whatever the result of this wish is", id imagine making you a very short lived being with abundance of every kind and only enough mental capacity to enjoy that would work.
Well done, I can tell you thought about this one!