this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2026
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Technology
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- Wait until midnight.
- Turn on the computer using the foot's thumb finger.
- Clean the mouse's trackball while you hear the Windows XP's starting song "trunn trun trunnn, trun-trunnnnnnn" in your bedroom, followed by some cracking noise foretelling an incoming cellphone call in your Nokia 3310.
- Dial the ISP using the Windows XP's "Dial-up connection" dialog
- Spin up a Winamp playing the same "Numb" by "Linkin Park" (or "Bring me to life" by Evanescence, or "Fireflies" by Owl City, or several other classics) over and over again.
- Spin up MSN Messenger and see that "Numb - Linkin Park" (or whatever song) as both your status message and your contacts' as well.
- Spin up Internet Explorer 6 and go to Orkut.
- Oh, a new testimonial and two new scraps.
- Also a new discussion thread in the community "Eu odeio acordar cedo".
- Got tired of Orkut communities, check if there's anything new in "Buddy Poke" and "Happy Farm".
- Got tired of Orkut altogether, but Jake, my colleague from school, just made my MSN window to shook and sent me a Wink, inviting me to a match in Counter Strike. I plug it to the living room's CRT TV using a convoluted connection.
- My grandpa starts complaining about how I'm damaging the CRT TV with the pesky Computer-to-TV adapter.
This won't be coming back. Like, ever. The Alpha Gen and most of the GenZ will never be able to truly know what I'm taking about.
So, please MySpace, don't try to fool me with illusory hopes. Yahoo Messenger isn't coming back. Limewire and E-mule's "Every-Linkin-Park-album-ever-released.exe" aren't, either. And it won't be MySpace the one to bring that to life (pun intended). Since Harambe died, the world has never been the same. In the end, it doesn't even matter.
!technology@beehaw.org