this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] SanderZeldenthuis@nord.pub 107 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Reminds me the time I used to be a bicycle courier in Amsterdam and I get sent to pick up a package at a warehouse. When I get there for the pickup, there is a small front desk with a stunning receptionist. Instead of handing me a package, she gets up and says to follow her as she heads into the next room.

I follow her and walk into what I can only describe as a showroom of sex toys. Every kind of dildo and vibrator you an imagine is proudly on display along with some other devices I've never seen before. "I'll get a box. Be right back" she says and leaves the room before I can say anything more than OK.

A minute later she's back in the room. She hands me the box and says to pick out whatever I need. I'm confused and I tell her I'm just a courier here to pick up a package for "Dave" and just stares at me for a sec and then she starts laughing.

She says yeah she was told Dave was sending someone to pick up the sex toys but she misunderstood and thought Dave was sending someone to "pick out" the sex toys. She then called Dave and spoke for a min. Then she picked and packed the sex toys and gave me the box for Dave.

As you might guess, Dave was a shooting a video and due to a mixup did not have the sex toys expected for the shoot and my company got the courier call.

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago

Typically Dave

[–] modus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So you turned down free dildos?

[–] SanderZeldenthuis@nord.pub 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Of course not! I never turn down a free dildo but as the courier these dildos were not mine to keep.

[–] modus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Thank you for remaining one of the few honorable dildo couriers left in this dark world.

[–] quantumcrop@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

You are but a humble dildo shepherd.

[–] zanyllama52@infosec.pub 38 points 1 month ago (4 children)

New job looks like it'll suck

[–] snake@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

I bet she'll be working her ass off

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And probably at the very end too.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 1 points 1 month ago

Depends how she does working at the desk. It's hard work.

[–] CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Take this job and shove it...

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

How sick is it that so many see that black couch in a room with a white wall and immediately know what it's all about

[–] Tiral@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I put my text notification as the porn hub intro music for like a month. You have no idea how many people looked at me in lines different places. It's like fucking say something and admit you know what it is well enough to recognize if.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 3 points 1 month ago

Now put the gridr notification sound

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Not many people have actual step-siblings and yet we all know what that shit is about.

[–] Johanno@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago

What are you doing stepladder?

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

It has to be a creepy vipe. You are not blood related but you screw a step-siblings

[–] lemonbun@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

its community

[–] JayK117@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And no male can admit, in the presence of a woman, why that is funny.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Exactly. It's just funny.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Oh god! You're gonna make me work!

[–] diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] diaphragmwp@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 1 month ago
[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago
[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sadly she got fucked in that interview and it turned out there wasn't really a job.

[–] ddplf@szmer.info 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hold on, is this for real?

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

(Warning NSFW) "Backroom Casting Couch"

That said, their "porn job interview but there wasn't really any job" schtick is theatrics, as far as I know.

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Yes and no. Lately companies began pulling this shit for real, because well, you don't exactly have to pay actresses that way...and they are easier to abuse.

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What's your girlfriend's name? Asking for a friend.

[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Erin macmillan, according to people in the internet

Good luck my dude or dudette

[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 2 points 1 month ago

Thanks. I'll, uh, tell my friend

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

M'dude thanks for the sauce. O7

[–] JayK117@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

She blew their minds! Weirdly she shortened her text to "blew them" but I know what she meant!

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I think most of those scenarios end with the applicant bent over that couch receiving it doggy

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

hopefully she got the job 🤞

[–] bcgm3@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

More like gave it

[–] Kintarian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Instead of getting fucked out of a job she got fucked into a job