This is a long story but please, read to the end and maybe you'll understand!!
When I was a young boy, no older than 6 or 7, my family had a beautiful Rough Collie. This dog was more intelligent than your average President and never got into trouble. A wealthy man in my neighborhood wanted our dog for farm purposes and my parents, being destitute at the time, sold her to him. Well, funnily enough, she was so loyal to me and the rest of the family that she traveled over 50 miles from the farm back to us. I'll never forget my dad saying "She's a real come-homer" and promising me he'd never give her away again.
We also had a few cats, I loved them as well but they were slovenly - especially Mustard. I mention this for contextual reasons that will become apparent later.
Well, one day, when I was playing in the woods near my house after a storm - I fell into an old abandoned well. I never knew it was there; it was covered with a piece of wood that had rotted over the years and couldn't bear the weight of my foot coming down on it.
I fell. Hard.
Because of the recent storm, the well was quite full of water. It was up to my chest and the walls were slick with moss & algae. I couldn't climb up and out of it. I thought I was doomed. I was in the woods, which my parents and siblings never went near; it was late in the afternoon, would soon become dark, and the water was cold.
Well, our cat Mustard - an orange stray who we rescued off our doorstep if you must know - must have been following me. I remember his smug face looking down into the well as I flailed in the water, trying to climb up.
"Mustard, go get help!!" I cried. Mustard just blinked at me and licked his paws before stretching, yawning, and turning around.
"He's gonna get help!" I thought, so happy we'd brought him into our home and fed him the finest trout - caught by me weekly from the stream that ran through the woods by our house.
I waited patiently for an hour. Two. By hour three, I was losing hope. Where was Mustard??
I had faith though. Mustard, part of the family, would save me!
The sun began to set and that was when I knew...Mustard had abandoned me. Was I going to die in this well? I hadn't even the strength to shout anymore, having spent my energy keeping my head above the water while trying to climb out of the well.
But then, I heard a mrooow! Mustard had come back! Excitedly, I looked up. What did I see? Mustard's asshole, leaning over the edge of the well. I was so shocked, I didn't even have time to react before a stream of piss came flying down into the well.
"Mustard...please!" I cried; dunking my head below the water to avoid his piss. At this, he scampered away. I waited another 30 minutes, hoping he'd bring back someone, anyone. Nothing. The moon was rising and I was getting cold.
Knowing it would be my last attempt, I tried floating on my back in the cramped well-bottom to conserve my dregs of energy. My mind raced - there was no way my parents would hear me, even if they started looking when I didn't show for dinner. What could I do?!
Then I thought of our dog. I let out a faint whistle and to my surprise, I heard a faint bark. It wasn't five minutes before I heard our dog charging through the woods, somehow knowing my exact path.
I'll never forget her face poking over the well, a clear expression of "what are you doing down there, abc?" on her face.
"L-lassie, go get help...please..." I whispered. She barked and turned to leave. To my surprise, she walked for a second out of my sight and came back to carefully drop down a warm thermos of hot chocolate down to me.
That hot chocolate tasted so good. It wasn't fifteen minutes before I heard my dad hollering at Lassie. She'd run up to him sitting down at the kitchen table, mad at his son for not showing up for dinner - he thought I was off kissing some girl - and grabbed him by the pants. She dragged him out the house and towards the woods, never relenting even though my Pa was a stern man who didn't brook any disobedience in his children or his pets. He told me he was swatting at her the entire time, up until they got to the tree-line, thinking she was rabid.
She dragged him all the way to the well and then ran back to the house, at full-tilt, to grab a bunch of bed-sheets. She knew I wasn't going to get out without something to climb. She was that smart.
It took another hour, an hour I wouldn't have survived without that hot chocolate, for my dad to tie the bedsheets together into a rope and lower it down to me. I climbed out, no longer a boy, but a man.
Lassie lived for another 10 years and rescued me from a number of precarious situations. From a swollen river, from the bottom of a cliff, and even from an active hostage situation.
Mustard? Mustard spent the next year faking injuries and framing Lassie for things he'd do. He knocked one of mother's pies off the counter and convinced her that it was Lassie's doing - she had to spend the night outside in the rain for that. I knew he was a rat, but my parents and Uncle didn't believe me. It wasn't until Mustard ran off with Mother's diamond necklace that they realized we'd been conned.
I'll never forget my Uncle, Petrie, saying "Animals aren't much different than humans. Some of 'em like Mustard take while others like Lassie give" and Lassie? She always gave. Day in and day out.
Mustard? He only took and took..