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It infuriates me that in this life we are tying value to humans as long as they create a profit for somebody else. You just cannot 'be' in this world without being useful to improve profit. Society looks with utter contempt to people who cannot fit into this ideal.
And we all pretend it's fine. Some of us organize to make this world a better place and that's good but sometimes I just want to throw a complete rage and punch authority figures in the mouth. Maybe the 'tism further encourages this thought as I never had the feeling of getting this mentality ever in my life. If I asked why things were like this it was always 'oh that's just how it goes'
WHY? WHY DOES IT GO LIKE THIS? WHY DO YOU ALL ACCEPT THIS? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE TO ME.
End of rant.
I think it's normal to feel that way about it. The weird part is the notion pushed by liberalism that we're supposed to look dehumanizing practices in the face and turn the other cheek (e.g. "rise above" like life is some kind of contest to see who can act more pious on the surface). I think there are various forms of this out there, like "don't stoop to their level" that shame people just for having a human reaction to outrageously unjust circumstances. Obviously we don't want to fight barbarism with barbarism, but what we call barbaric acts usually take a lot of conscious effort to put them into practice broadly. It isn't something you accident your way into doing as a system. Liberal thinking would have us believing we must be hypervigilant about any desires to fight, lest we slip into "corruption" of intent and practice and "become what we sought out to destroy." But history doesn't really back up liberalism on this. For example, the AES states that get regularly vilified were/are closer to kind saviors than corrupted villains.
So basically, I would say what you feel is a desire to fight back against injustice and they'd have us fearing this basic desire in ourselves. Even the figure of Jesus, who I think is where some of this image of "turning the other cheek" comes from as culture, has a part in the bible where he whips the money changers in the temple, overturns their tables, and drives them out of it. Bit adventurist of him (😛 ), but I like to point at it as contradicting the narrative that he was just this "pacifist figure and people should be pacifist like him." To what extent he was even a real person and matches any of the narrative, I don't know, but the pacifist narrative has holes and reminds me a bit of the more modern thing that happened in the US with the civil rights movement and portraying MLK as "nonviolent" in order to be able to put him on a pedestal after assassinating him, while vilifying more "militant" aspects of the movement.
There is no alternative^TM^