this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Ah yes, how to succeed in life in a fundamentally broken society that values exploitation over everything else. Couldn't think of a better metric for choosing a partner.
Ffs, you were so quick with the snarky remark that you dont even understand that suceeding in life means a lot of different things to a lot of diferent People.
The definition you gave is your own and for me it reveals a skweded perspective of what means sucess, adaptation or intelligence.
Fair point :D but succeeding in life without succeeding in society is pretty difficult since as you said it means a lot of different things for different people but is still one of the biggest influence on their situation
Yes, it is. Someone who can do well in society and their lives while being generally good to those around them is often considered a good catch.
Thinking that anyone who succeeds in life in our society must be one of the like, less than 10% who are ghouls is odd.
Beeing generally happy and doing well while simultaneously profiting from a society that is build on genocide, exploitation of natural resources and imperialism is such a twisted concept. Even if not part of the 10%.
Gotcha. So would you rank yourself as mostly unhappy, destitute and unwell?
Can you think of anyone in our society who's doing alright within the confines of a broken system, or do you think that everyone's existence is inseperable from the context of that existence, even if the means of changing it or it's impact are outside of their reach? Somewhere in the middle?
I met a guy who helps manage a homeless shelter and food bank. Stand-up guy. Makes ends meet, is doing what he can where he can. Generally happy guy with a family. Pretty twisted right? Or my former coworker who let his gardening hobby get out of hand and ended up running a community garden that retrofitted two houses to donate to families in need.
People exist in their circumstances, but they're not defined by them. How you react to those circumstances speaks to your character, not that you exist in them.
Being able to ignore the bigger picture because you can change your own privileged surroundings IS the problematic reaction that speaks for your character
The implicit level of privilege here should not go unacknowledged. It's a hint at the full story. That's a fundamental part of the problem regardless of how the individual feels about it or reacts.
Perhaps more importantly these are extremely niche/cherry-picked versions of succeeding. In USA it almost always means the same evil bullshit.
You're not wrong, the guy did have a lot of privilege in his life. He's well educated, has a demeanor people trust and enough money to have a backyard garden in a house in a not ideal part of town. He opted to use that privilege to get his neighbors to join their backyards together to have a community garden, and then used a city/state program to use their pooled money to buy an empty lot and an unoccupied house to finish the block. Instead of selling the house for profit, they opted to give it to someone in need.
I'm not sure what full story you're looking for. Dudes a community college astronomy professor who spent some time maintaining billing software.
My point isn't "oh my God, everyone in the US is a saint!” it's that the notion that "because the US has fundamental structural problems, anyone who isn't a miserable failure is inherently evil" is just profoundly misguided.
Either your definition of success is setup such that it says more about you than other people, or you just fundamentally haven't encountered many people.
What's your definition of "success"? How many Americans do you think are engaged in "evil bullshit"?
And for the protocol, i don't give a shit about that incel bullshit, I just hate people that try to make complex problems look simple because of their particular privileged situation
If you love your wife and you are broke, you won't make her your wife.
They are just avoiding selfish people who will drag them down.
Ah yes avoid being dragged down by choosing somebody who just drags other people down but not you. So they have a shitty character in general but behave differently toward you. Never heard that this went wrong.
I was reffering to myself, I am a man. I will not be cursing anyone else with myself.
I'm really sorry for this view on yourself. I don't know how to change this since the default variants that I have been told didn't work out for me either but I am really sure that prioritizing somebody else over yourself or as you said protecting somebody from getting cursed with one self is one of the most harmful ways to see things. It makes it a lot harder to come close to somebody since you are framing the avoidance as something helpful for them
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