this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2026
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Today I Learned

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(page 3) 44 comments
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[–] ironpangolin29@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I wonder if you will find real people, real connections if you create a profile that contradicts what you are looking for.

You want an outdoorsy, travelling, generally adventurous personality to travel the world with. If you ask for that, they're going to match you with introverted hermits.

Ask for hermit homebodies. You'll find your Ellie.

Consider the chance that they built an algorithm that matches you with failures to keep you coming back to the platform.

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[–] Semester3383@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)

And the best part? Matching algorithms don't do shit. You can't actually predict attraction and interest based on matching character traits.

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[–] Marija_@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

Haha exititis meets romance. Plus let's not forget that now the dating sites are flooded with Bowkys and scammers.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world -5 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Hot take: match group is actually doing a pretty damn good job of trying to get you a date. The constant changing fashions of dating sites indicates that the company's sites don't have a stranglehold on the market like, say, facebook does. They have significant competitors in the form of Bumble, Grindr, Feeld, Badoo, etc. People on site like Lemmy often concoct conspiracies about how the sites are somehow nefariously keeping your soulmate from you.

But they arent. Dating sites arent difficult because the companies are evil (sure, they are evil, but thats not why dating sites are difficult). They are difficult because people are difficult.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nah, match group has been using fake accounts to lure mostly men into their sites for decades. Make a free account, get a message within 30 minutes, pay 5 bucks to read it.

Last time I used tinder, in early 2023, the app was actively hiding any of the "49+" profiles that had swiped right on me. I'd get, at best, 1 match a week. I mean, 300 (yes, I counted) swipes left and not a single "you missed a match"?? They probably had fingerprinted my device and knew I was a returning user, even if I was on a different phone number, so I was a better target for them to sell their subscriptions. Either that or the algo caught how I was just going left without a thought and kept showing all their fakes and bots.

hell, tinder is so awful that the vast majority of brazilian users there just leave their instagram handle on their profile, with a few also asking to "only message if we match"

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If your complaint is "this business won't give me their services for free", then that's not a real complaint. They're a business, and businesses exist to make money. Last I checked, the price of a hinge subscription for a month was about $30. You could easily spend that much on a few drinks in a night at a trendy bar.

Is tinder full of bots? Yes. But also, tinder is something of a sinking ship, and the bots keep their numbers inflated while not fighting thr flood saves on expenses. I've had much better luck on Hinge.

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[–] Flagstaff@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

If they did an actually good job, they would ask every person after every single swipe, "Why did you reject/accept this person?" and zero in on your type instantly. They'd use that data to immediately, strictly filter for such people and you'd be off in a month, tops. I don't know how many times I have to repeat it: they do not care about you matching.

With that said, people being difficult and guarded and full of expectations sure don't help, either, yeah.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

That is an awesome idea for a dating site. You should make it, and when it starts finding people their soulmates within a month, it will quickly become the most profitable app in the world and you'll make oodles of money.

Or else you'll figure out some flaw in your plan, and it will end up about as good at finding people matches as showing them a random assortment of people on the site.

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