this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2026
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DKIM, DMARC, SPF, rDNS/PTR, EHLO... all correct and verified in the email "original source," BY GOOGLE. Still goes to SPAM folder because **** you, apparently. I hate Google.

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[–] halezinflames@lemmus.org 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Ngl, I can't blame most for flocking to Gmail. It's a lot more of a pain in the rear to self-host something like that, and it's just plain convenient.

It's the same reason a lot of the people leaving Gmail go to essentially the Privacy Google (Proton) as the replacement.

[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 4 points 14 hours ago

I put dog shit in my ass and Google knew five minutes before it happened, filmed it, and sold it back to me as a custom highlight of my home alone shenanigans. I find this a bit egregious, personally.

[–] ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Running your own email server is also a good way to get a ton of headaches from your isp

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[–] Prontomomo@lemmy.world 62 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I stopped thinking of any email as “private” regardless of where it’s hosted, when I realized that everyone I email uses Gmail anyways; so all my emails end up going to Google anyways.

It made me an email nihilist

I hate it. it was supposed to be open standard

[–] GamingChairModel@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Microsoft Exchange and the web-based Outlook probably still has a plurality of email volume, because of their dominance in enterprise. Even on the web based consumer space, Apple and Yahoo still have significant market share.

[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Me and a couple other people have ran into on the internet have thought that we need to invent "email 2", a clean slate implementation of email that serves it's asynchronous long form and attachment friendly function while leaving behind Decades of Cruft . We can make it into an encrypted by default and have conveniences that we never had before. It might even be an actual useful thing instead of just being the thing you sign up for accounts with to get to 2fa codes and spam from websites you buy stuff from

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Frankly, I'm rather shocked it hasn't happened by now.

We've tried to bandaid over it with various weird things, but fundamentally SMTP is just weird.

I could easily imagine a domain having some SRV record to advertise "hey, I support NeoSMTP", and peers switching to that instead, possibly pinning on successful NeoSMTP negotiation.

Get rid of a lot of the relaying which has not been useful in modern times and only a liability, and perhaps offer an https option to be less likely to be blocked (a TXT record to indicate url, and a node could declare their NeoSMTP entry point as https://mail.server/NeoSMTP/ or whatever works for them).

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Oh, there have been plenty. The issue though is the classic "make a better standard, and now you have N+1 standards".
Everything is wrong with SMTP. It's still in use because it's supported everywhere. Anything that wants to replace it either needs to entirely replace it in one fell swoop, or it needs to be backwards compatible.

The result is that occasionally a new thing comes up, a handful of people try it but there isn't critical mass to make other features really useful so it fades.

[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 1 points 11 hours ago

It's fine if Legacy email Remains the thing that could spend whereas email 2 can be used for actual correspondence between people

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Hence my references to DNS records in addition to MX to determine if an endpoint is SMTP only or better. For compatible interop.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 hours ago

But that's the thing: now you haven't made an email replacement, you've made email more complicated.

If you're backwards compatible you need a very compelling feature to get people to switch, and using the feature is limited until people switch.
That's how we added spf, dkim, dmarc and starttls.
The biggest difficulty is managing the layers of compatibility.

[–] motruck@lemmy.zip 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)
[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Looks like replacing IMAP rather than SMTP, which is significantly less thorny.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Love this idea!

I feel like Arcane/Delta Chat is a step toward this. It somehow uses an email protocol and it works just like Signal or any other message app! I dunno how the heck it works but it's super cool.

That's something I want too: An open standard my friends and family can be on, where "the market" isn't.

Edit: I see, it seems the issue in the main thread is:

  • Gmail blocks custom servers as spam 99% of the time.
  • 99% of normieverse uses Gmail. :(

But getting people on other email providers to talk to each other... shouldn't be an issue then?

[–] MrKiosc@reddthat.com 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

"normieverse" hit me like a brick

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

LOL I honestly can't tell if that's good or bad, in this context. XD

[–] drbluefall@toast.ooo 184 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (17 children)

Tbh, out of all services I've seen people self-host, email is the most common one I've seen people describe as a bad idea™️.

I just chose a paid mail service (mailbox) and called it a day.

[–] motruck@lemmy.zip 1 points 18 hours ago

I do not understand all the people who are too afraid to try email hosting on their own that are out here discouraging people cause they want to sound right.

Email is hard cause people don't host it enough and the few corps ignore the minority problems.

If more people shift back to hosting email the balance will tip again.

It is fine if you don't want to host email but telling people not too without even trying yourself is anti-selfhost IMHO.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've been hosting my e-mail for over 2 decades now, e-mail goes everywhere but gmail (despite working with them for years). They are doing it exactly so people stop doing it.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 90 points 1 day ago

Same. It's great for a technical challenge. Don't do it for your primary email unless you're ok losing emails and having them rejected a lot.

[–] galoisghost@aussie.zone 48 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Yeah we should just let them win. Why fight? It’s not like most of the spam and phishing come from Gmail and hotmail accounts. It’s those fucking self hosters

[–] toxicmode@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

How's your self hosted email going? Any advice you can share to avoid some of the major issues?

[–] Lee@retrolemmy.com 33 points 1 day ago (7 children)

I've run a mail server since the late 90s. I gave up running my own outbound years ago. Whether it gets received is too inconsistent. Primarily, make sure the IP you use isn't on any spam lists. If it is, get a new IP or try to submit appeals. Make sure you have the standard anti spam/authenticity measures implemented (they're listed in the OP).

These are the minimum. Years ago it was enough to have reasonable delivery. Unfortunately these aren't that helpful anymore because spammers also set them up (often with seemingly randomly generated domain names). I assume because not having them was a fairly strong signal for being a spammer, so now they also set them up, which also means there's not really any configuration / setup you can do to seem legitimate (aside from mail volume and the content itself which will be analyzed).

Anyway running your own SMTP itself is easy. The problem is getting your mail to the inbox or at least spam/junk folder (your mail may get blackholed and not even show up in spam). At least when you get a rejection, you know something is wrong, but many times the receiving server will indicate a success code and simply not deliver it to the user (not even to their spam).

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[–] WesternInfidels@feddit.online 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Maybe the way to fight GMail's outsized power is to stop using GMail. You can do that without going all the way to self-hosting.

[–] daveyOsborn@infosec.pub 2 points 19 hours ago

Maybe the way to fight GMail’s outsized power is to stop using GMail.

Stopping your own gmail use is trivially easy. It just scratches the surface. In order to not lick Google’s boots, you also need to stop sending email to gmail users. That means doing an MX lookup before emailing to see if their vanity email address is on a Gmail host. And of course this also means not sharing an email address with gmail users.

I do that, in fact. I also boycott Microsoft. In the end, this means I am not using email much at all.

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[–] Forester@pawb.social 28 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If you want you can PM me your dkim and dmarc and SPF policy. Or just send me your url and I'll look it up. I used to fix these for a living. It's likely an issue with your SPF not being properly annotated.

[–] motruck@lemmy.zip 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Do you have any go to guides or even an overview of how you generally diagnose email problems would be awesome!

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 18 hours ago

Just reading the bounce backs and spam errors when sending to Gmail and other providers.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

That's cool of you to offer that to them.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago

I have this problem for a while as well. Similar to you all mechanisms are implemented multiple sites say the configuration is correct, even headers in Gmail say DKIM and SPF passed. E-mail arrives everywhere except for gmail.

Thanks for posting, at least I know I'm not the only one.

[–] OR3X@lemmy.world 46 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I work for state government and even we have trouble with email reputation issues from the big orgs. It's a pain for everyone.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 day ago

This is done on purpose, to make people to switch to their e-mail or use them for hosting.

Google did the same thing with XMPP (they were welcomed when they joined, then they made it so XMPP users couldn't message GTalk/Hangouts users, but the other way worked), they tried similar thing with Usenet, but they never get dominance there so they let their services to be major source of spam on Usenet until they were blocked, ultimately removing Usenet indexing from Google).

I would really encourage to contact our local reps (both federal as well as state) and encourage them to introduce legislation that would punish this practice.

[–] lena@gregtech.eu 46 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Self-hosting email is quite the undertaking... I don't have the energy to deal with it and just pay 10€/year for a hosting service.

Here's an informative (and funny) talk on why self-hosting email in its current state is probably a bad idea.

[–] mlg@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

They claim its for spam prevention which is why most ISPs actually also block outgoing SMTP port 25.

The dumb thing is, all it really does is push spammers onto using botted/stolen accounts which work way more effectively, and everyone else is forced to set up their email with Google or Microsoft.

If your domain isn't big enough to be recognized, all that SPF and DMARC won't mean crap to them.

[–] daveyOsborn@infosec.pub 1 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

They claim its for spam prevention which is why most ISPs actually also block outgoing SMTP port 25.

European ISPs block egress port 25, not American ones, generally. Not sure about the rest of the world.

In Europe, one refuge is to send using the GSM networks, which tend not to block egress 25 for some reason.

[–] mlg@lemmy.world 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

not American ones, generally.

Well then screw you AT&T lmao

[–] daveyOsborn@infosec.pub 2 points 14 hours ago

AT&T is the worst of the worst. And I boycott them for countless reasons like snooping on their own customers voluntarily without a warrant. It’s really a hard-right corp. In any case, never tried them so I didn’t know they blocked egress 25.

One trick that works if truth-in-advertising laws are in force: ask the sales people before subscribing if the block port 25. They always say “no, we block nothing” (in my experience). So you subscribe and sign the contract. Then when you see they actually block 25, you have a false advertising situation and also a contract violation (if either verbal contracts are enforcable or if you can get it in writing that nothing is blocked). So you complain. In my experience, they give a gratis upgrade to an enterprise level of service that generally has a static IP and no blocks -- for the price of the residential plan you signed up for.

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago

i never had problems with Google, but Outlook always blocks my emails, just because it's not a standard .com .net etc domain...

[–] x7HlPDq9dSNO6v3A9@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I run my own mailserver in docker and it's not so hard! There was some difficulty at the start with mail going to spam, but after a little while "warming up" the IP with usage, it works fine. It's hardest to build an IP's reputation in the beginning because if your mail goes to spam, it doesn't typically lead to healthy conversations that can support it's history.

My trick was to forward all my incoming gmail messages from the account I was replacing into the new server - that way I could receive and reply from the new mailserver if people sent mail to the old one. Once it built up a bit of a history it started working fine, and that took maybe a few conversations over a couple of days.

The thing I have noticed is that you very quickly get destroyed by incoming spam - a more advanced filter is definitely on the list.

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[–] fbinin@mastodon.fbin.in 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

@laurenceOfSuburbia
This ain't anything new. They have been doing this for decades and will still do it forever. Just move on with it, since it like trying to figure out something which has no meaning at all.
Just know for sure that every company has systems designed by some developer based on a whimsical mindset of someone at the very top. So, I can care less for these stupid companies and their useless management.

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[–] elvith@feddit.org 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Google Groups allows spammers to subscribe you to their groups in a workspace account, but doesn't allow you to unsubscribe since you're not part of that workspace account... Worse - all autoresponders for the spam will also be forwarded to all members of said group.

Since I do not participate in Google Groups, the nuclear option is to file all mails from Google Groups as spam with a Sieve script.

Note the require part may be too large as may sieve script also contains more rules than this one.

require ["body", "date", "editheader", "envelope", "fileinto", "imap4flags", "mailbox", "regex", "reject", "variables"];

if anyof(
    header :contains "List-Subscribe" "groups.google.com",
    header :matches "X-Google-Group-Id" "*"
   ) {
	if header :matches "Subject" "*" {
		set "subject" "${1}";
	} else {
		set "subject" "";
	}
	deleteheader "Subject";
	addheader :last "Subject" "[Google-Groups-Spam] ${subject}";

	fileinto "Junk";
}
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