βGo away! Baitinβ!β
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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"busy"
slight pause
"With myself"
"Daddy?"
Gaza! I mean, occupied!
Shits fired!
I only know crazily trying to open the door, because they don't know what a locked door means...
"Shitter's full!"
βJust as prophecy foretold, you have come. Enter and meet your destiny!β
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(2 replies)
"Come in!"
"Go Around"
When I met my to-be brother-in-law for the first time 9 years ago (he was 19 then, for context), he was in a public restroom. My to-be mother-in-law called in and said "Hey bub, you in there?"
"Hey, mom. Yea. I'm poopin'!"
"Okay. This is KryptonianCodeMonkey."
"Hi, kryptonianCodeMonkey! I'm poopin'!"
Then I went to pee at the urinal next to his stall and he announced, "Hey, I have shoes just like those."
So, anyway... if your goal is to be memorable...
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(2 replies)
"I've been waiting for you"
OccuuuuuuPAAAADDDDOOO
Get out while you still can!
βThis seat is takenβ Forest Gump kids on the bus accent
Or βok, but youβre gonna have to sit on my lap.β
I just say Come In
"C'mon in, water's great!"
Sing! πΆ"Another one bites the dust... And another one down, another one down, Another one bites the dust,
... I'm gonna get you, too, Another one bites the dust.. "πΆ
Then fart to the beat
I prefer "Push it" by Salt-N-Pepa
And just like that, an AI learned everything necessary to respond when a restroom is busy....next step is to learn how to poop.
If they knock: a polite "I'll be out in a moment"
If they bust in like some kind of shitting Kool-Aid man: a cheerful "HOWDY!" with sustained eye contact.
Usually just go with "nope" or some such.
Try "Yes, and..." next time. That's the #1 rule.
Just let loose a bloodcurdling scream
"Aye, come in, I was just getting the place ready for you!"