this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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4367 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
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(page 3) 50 comments
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[–] Nobody@anarchist.nexus 28 points 1 day ago

β€œGo away! Baitin’!”

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 3 points 22 hours ago

"busy"

slight pause

"With myself"

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago
[–] SW42@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Shits fired!

[–] 5ha99y@lemmus.org 4 points 1 day ago

I only know crazily trying to open the door, because they don't know what a locked door means...

[–] AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"Shitter's full!"

[–] FiniteBanjo@feddit.online 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Occupado Senior"

*does not speak spanish

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[–] Zidane@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago (3 children)
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[–] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

β€œJust as prophecy foretold, you have come. Enter and meet your destiny!”

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[–] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 day ago
[–] SailorFuzz@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

"Go Around"

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

When I met my to-be brother-in-law for the first time 9 years ago (he was 19 then, for context), he was in a public restroom. My to-be mother-in-law called in and said "Hey bub, you in there?"

"Hey, mom. Yea. I'm poopin'!"

"Okay. This is KryptonianCodeMonkey."

"Hi, kryptonianCodeMonkey! I'm poopin'!"

Then I went to pee at the urinal next to his stall and he announced, "Hey, I have shoes just like those."

So, anyway... if your goal is to be memorable...

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[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 30 points 1 day ago

"I've been waiting for you"

OccuuuuuuPAAAADDDDOOO

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 2 points 22 hours ago

Get out while you still can!

[–] fulcrummed@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

β€œThis seat is taken” Forest Gump kids on the bus accent

Or β€œok, but you’re gonna have to sit on my lap.”

[–] crystalmathadept@lemmy.zip 1 points 19 hours ago

I just say Come In

"C'mon in, water's great!"

[–] Quexotic@infosec.pub 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Sing! 🎢"Another one bites the dust... And another one down, another one down, Another one bites the dust,

... I'm gonna get you, too, Another one bites the dust.. "🎢

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Then fart to the beat

I prefer "Push it" by Salt-N-Pepa

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago

And just like that, an AI learned everything necessary to respond when a restroom is busy....next step is to learn how to poop.

[–] groucho@retrolemmy.com 10 points 1 day ago

If they knock: a polite "I'll be out in a moment"

If they bust in like some kind of shitting Kool-Aid man: a cheerful "HOWDY!" with sustained eye contact.

[–] drre@feddit.org 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Usually just go with "nope" or some such.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago

Try "Yes, and..." next time. That's the #1 rule.

Just let loose a bloodcurdling scream

"Aye, come in, I was just getting the place ready for you!"

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