Straws. Lots of straws.
this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2026
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Because it was 2006.
As was the style at the time
Neo: "I can stuff 400 straws into my mouth"
Morpheus: "...show me"
Christmas 2002 and I am drunk in a bar somewhere in Abruzzo watching an Italian quiz show on the television. It was two fifty-something housewifish nanas vs 'Matrix' (his actual quiz show name) who was dressed in a black leather and sunglasses like Neo and the gang out of the movie. One of the kids in the bar (around eight or nine) was upset because Matrix apparently sucked at general knowledge. I still remember his little voice going 'No! Matrix no!' as the 'you lose' chime played and Matrix slouched off set to applause.
That shit was big for years. Good times.
The first thing to understand is that for about 2 solid years after the matrix, everyone dressed like neo from the matrix. Everyone.
until Columbine. after that trench coats were out.
Not everyone, a few people dressed like Morpheus from The Matrix. A couple even dressed like Trinity from The Matrix.
That's just neo fit with extra steps
- Hey, Neo, go fetch some beers from the store!
- Why me!?
- You're the chosen one.
- and grab some soy and wheat sauce, while you're at it.
- Why me!?
- You're the hoisin one.
Man The Matrix deserved to stay in the culture longer. It even became double-relevant with the trans-themes
I rephrased this a few times, but basically Columbine happened and that was the end of that.
The Matrix was hugely popular for many years after Columbine.
Yeah, but everyone who wanted to look like Neo had to decide if they wanted to look like the Columbine shooter too. I'm literally only talking about the kids that cosplayed as Neo every day. Even the cowboy kids in highschool second guessed their walker Texas ranger getups after Columbine.
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Like it is a genuinely good film and here is how I know. I have only seen it once, opening week in 1999 before any of the hype had built. There was 6 of us in theater.
Despite it being 27 years, I can still tell you key characters and plot points after all this time. That is how you know it was great. The sequels... not so much.
The original film was close to perfection, the second film had its moments, like the night club scene and the introduction of the twins and flipping an SUV with a samurai sword, and the third… basically only thing I remember is watching a live-action version of a DBZ fight, which was awesome to watch in the theatre and obviously still miles better than any fight in the actual live-action DBZ movie… But I couldn’t tell you what the rest of the film was about.
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Gentlemen.
It's the 2000's. Enough said and no questions asked.
The only justified Guinness record
You ever look at a Guinness record and go, 'you know, I could do better...'
58 hours of non-stop kissing. Food and drink is allowed but your lips must maintain contact. You may also use the bathroom, but the judge has to come with you both too
Taking a dump while eating and continuously kissing someone, all while some stranger is forced to watch? Are you trying to unlock a new fetish in me? Well at least you brought an easy solution to satisfy that fetish with you.
"Gawd, it's for a professional tournament!"
He's beginning to believe.
There is no straw
Oh shit I did have the 2006 Guinness Book of World Records and I do remember this exact pic. Simpler times
Which was the style at the time.
That's a talent gay men can appreciate. And I do.
First explain to me, why are people in The Matrix dressed like they are in The Matrix?
- Dark clothes == underground, goth, anti-consumer with bright clothes
- 90s == short hair, clean but dishevelled Gen-X look.
- Leather == EDM nightlife, punk, goth, metal
- Urban club scene == No smileys, baggy pants, psychedelic colors. All business grunge
Alt rejection of societal norms, this includes fashion. Plus leather hot pants are also cool. Bums
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