this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2026
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Not The Onion

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[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 257 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Everything I hear about that guy is worse each time

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 181 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The actual self quote is so much worse than the headline

“I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be,” he wrote, reportedly reflecting on strained relationships with his brother Douglas Kennedy and cousin Bobby Shriver. “My kids waited patiently in the car.”

[–] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 66 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Holy...

This might be weirder than the time he bragged about his immunity and fearlessness of germs in the context of cocaine and a public toilet seat. But I forget how that goes.

[–] lividweasel@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Where does it rank relative to strapping a whale head to the roof of the minivan, dripping whale goo on his family?

[–] variablenine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Or the time he dumped a dead bear cub in central park and staged it to look like a bicycle accident. That was only 12 years ago

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Wait, that can't be. Yesterday was 12 years ago.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 83 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everything I learn about him is against my will.

[–] variablenine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago (4 children)

He also beheaded a beached whale with a chainsaw and bungee corded it to the top of his minivan for a five hour drive

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That sounds made up. But so does all the rest of this.

What the fuck.

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dojan@pawb.social 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah, I believed it. It just sounds like it wouldn't be real. It's bananas.

[–] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"I hope ya know I pack a chainsaw (what?)"

[–] variablenine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

You know, the more I learn about him, the more I actually think he would skin your ass raw

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I already knew that, unfortunately!

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

in his youth he would eat roadkill.

[–] M137@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The only things I've heard are from here on lemmy and it's obvious I don't need to look more into him, he's somehow managed to go a whole universe beyond the fever dream that's the current US situation. I almost like these posts because it's all so unbelievable and weird in a way that isn't so deeply morally corrupt like the, what's now normal, billionaire oligarch pedophilia. It's fucked up in a parody way. But as said, I haven't looked deeper at all, I have no idea if he's part of that too so please correct me if I'm wrong.

[–] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

There's no need to waste any time thinking about that guy. He's just a huge piece of shit doing shitty things to America, similar to most of the pedo-hitler administration, but usually weirder.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Not to make it worse but did you hear he’s the health secretary??

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He also fucked around on his wife, again. Hines isn't really around.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I've completely lost respect for her

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago

She's always been a talentless gold digger.