Not The Onion

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Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
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Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

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Appeared in the March 14, 2026, print edition as 'War Is Hell. But Is it Good for the Economy?'.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/44278439

Damn, even white refugees say naaahhhhh!

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/61827368

Selena Gomez Oreos have been found very effective in trapping possums.

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In comments to NBC News, US presidents also deflates hope of deal with Tehran, saying ‘terms aren’t good enough’

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Sounds like he's just the man for the job! And the timing would be great too!

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A condo just sold in Palo Alto, California for $5.3 million dollars. The top floor is a separate condo and not included but it's selling for $4.9 million.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.fan/post/12322905

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All of this—doling out relatively cheap dress shoes to a group of people disproportionately populated by billionaires, signing the boxes, inspiring fear of reprisal for wearing your own wingtips instead—is strange enough. Stranger still, though, is that the shoes (in some cases, very obviously) do not fit.

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Press photographers were reportedly barred from Pentagon press briefings after Pete Hegseth‘s staff became irked over unflattering photos of the defense secretary. The office of the notoriously vain Cabinet member — a former Fox News host who had a hair and makeup studio built in the Pentagon shortly after being confirmed — should probably have more important things on his mind, chiefly the war in Iran, and, perhaps, the elementary school there that the United States appears to have bombed.

According to a Wednesday report from The Washington Post, press pool photographers were banned from briefings on March 4 and March 10 after taking and publishing what sources described as “unflattering” images of Hegseth. The Post noted that the White House had declined to comment on the decision to exclude the photographers. The White House took exception, with Deputy Press Secretary Anna Kelly sharing an email reply to the publication with an off-topic quip over the newspaper’s recent layoff of more than 300 journalists, but no actual response to the Post’s question about the concern over Hegseth’s image.

The National Press Club responded on Wednesday, with President Mark Schoeff Jr. writing that the Pentagon’s decision “is deeply troubling and runs counter to the fundamental principles of transparency in a democratic society,” adding that “when the government decides which images the public is allowed to see, transparency is replaced by control.” PEN America also responded, calling the decision to bar photographers a “petty act of retaliation.”

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/44398300

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