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'Unlock my f---ing anime': Houston man arrested after threatening call to governor's office (www.kxan.com)

submitted 1 day ago by VetOfTheSeas@discuss.online to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

97 comments fedilink hide all child comments

According to an affidavit written by a DPS special agent, Ozment allegedly called the Governor’s Office on the afternoon of July 25. DPS claims Ozment left the following voicemail (KXAN has redacted the profanity in the transcript provided by DPS):

“I don’t know which one of you sons of b—-es passed this motherf—ing bill to get this damn s— blocking my motherf—ing anime, but you whole a– motherf—ers need to unpass this s—. Y’all are f—ing ridiculous with your b—- a–es. My Google account says I’m f—ing over the age of 18, and your dumba– is passing these dumba– laws. I’m a f—ing stab every godd— one of you b—-es. Unlock my f—ing anime.”

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[–] jdr@lemmy.ml 154 points 1 day ago (10 children)

Uncensored, not for the faint of heart;

"I don't know which one of you sons of buttermilk passed this mother-flapjacking bill to get this dang snickerdoodle blocking my mother-flapjacking anime, but you whole entire fudgemuffins need to unpass this snickerdoodle. Y'all are frickle-fracking ridiculous with your buttermilk gravy-boats. My Google account says I'm frickle-fracking over the age of 18, and your dumb-bumpkin is passing these dumb-bumpkin laws. I'm a frickle-fracking stab every gosh-diddly one of you buttermilks. Unlock my frickle-fracking anime.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 9 points 8 hours ago

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 3 points 9 hours ago

I’m a frickle-fracking stab every gosh-diddly one of you buttermilks. Unlock my frickle-fracking anime.

they sent a powet

[–] 5765313496@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago

More like for the feint of heart.

[–] webadict@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago

Please put that in a spoiler! My son read that and now he's sporting a mohawk and calling his mother and I the b word! We don't want him saying that kind of language except on special occasions like when God allows us to eat pancakes (Lent). Now I have to explain cookies to him. Thanks a lot, maybe think of the fucking children next time.

[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 7 points 21 hours ago

:faints:

[–] baronvonj@piefed.social 13 points 1 day ago

needs more 'monkey fighting' and 'Monday to friday'

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I'm pretty unflappabe, but consider me over easy

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

~~Goddamn~~ Gosh-diddly this is gold

This right here is exactly why I haven't blocked .ml

Yes the mods over there can be twats, and yes there are militant shitbirds with asinine opinions (let's be honest, every instance has them). And then you get a post like this…

[–] Trampampoline@sh.itjust.works -5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

<_< your above commenter is from .world bruv

[–] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm seeing the parent of this comment thread as jdr@lemmy.ml.

I'm on sync, so maybe it's an app issue? Or maybe you're blocking .ml and can only see the OP that jdr replied to? Dunno.

[–] Trampampoline@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

Fedi gonna fedi, I see it now.

[–] Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Oppai decensored wholesome gyaru be like