this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.

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[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 5 points 6 months ago (18 children)

Okay so... your dad is unequivocally a piece of shit. You said he's like your best friend, but are you okay with your best friend being a piece of shit? There need to be social consequences for being an unapologetic piece of shit (which one would need to be to have an affair with their personal assistant and then move in with her). Just business as usual isn't gonna cut it (think if instead of cheating he'd come out as a Nazi) and you would be condoning his actions if there aren't negative consequences of some form for this fiasco, though how much you escalate is up to you.

Edit: I have to say, the attitudes some of y'all have about parent-child relationships range from ungrateful to absolutely deplorable. Like, seriously if I heard "it's the parent's job to emotionally support their children, not the other way around" from someone in real life I wouldn't let that person within five miles within anyone I care about.

[–] Im_old@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (3 children)

You have no idea why that happened though. Are you absolutely 100% sure he's the only bad actor in the relationship? Maybe it wasn't "just an affair".

Don't draw conclusions from limited information.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 4 points 6 months ago

Dude had an affair with his young secretary and she is now moving in. That's a tale as old as time, and tells me a fair bit about the dad. Maybe he does have a good relationship with OP, but the mother is in the process of losing everything to her scumbag husband.

OP is old enough to make their own decisions, but Dad's relationship with his mistress is going to fall apart in 6-12 months when the novelty wears off.

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