this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
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The replies in this thread are disturbing, giving me a sense that Lemmy has a misogyny problem; maybe I was naïve, but I expected outrage about 4chan doxxing women trying to protect one another, instead I see lots of revenge enjoyment as if being doxxed on 4chan is justice for ... warning one another about dangerous men they encounter when dating?
The inability to empathize and take seriously the threats posed to women or to understand their motivation to protect one another is alarming.
There is no good faith extended, but also no evidence presented that instead of safety the app was just for gossip, it's just taken as assumed that women are wrong for using Tea and they all deserve to be doxxed.
"gossip" is for safety. It's often information that men don't want shared so it's painted like it's bad. Claiming women shouldn't gossip is just more misogyny.
There is some of that happening, like when women get together and discuss how they're being treated it's "gossip" and implied as immoral.
I think some men might read what you've said and think you are denying any toxic gossip exists, it's important to have nuance and not alienate men who otherwise would be allies, but I think overall your point is well taken.