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I had a good friend who I met as a co worker. We were both in the healthcare field and eventually both of us left the original company and moved onto different companies. We were both history buffs. We had lots of discussions over the years about history, politics, and of course the gossip in our industry. He was always an ideolog about politics. I only cared about policies. Did they work or not. I never cared about a specific candidate or party. He was such a nice person that I would kid him about being so serious about political stuff.
Neither of us were religious and due to the field we were in, we both agreed that consciousness, what makes you - you - is in your brain. You die, your brain dies, and that is the end of you.
Our discussions averaged once a week and always via email. Then there came a time when I hadn't heard from him for a few weeks. Several of my emails went unanswered. He eventually got back to me and retold what had happened over the previous weeks. He had stomach issues. He didn't think it was serious but regardless of the drugs he was prescribed he didn't get any better. Went to several doctors and eventually was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
Since we were both in the healthcare industry we knew this was a death sentence. Many who are faced with this diagnosis grasp at treatments or even religion to save them or at least extend their lives beyond the usual 6 months to a year death sentence.
My friend died 10 months after he received his diagnosis. We continued to communicate during those 10 months, but there was no more discussion about politics or world events. He had reached the point where all of that stuff was now irrelevant. We are all going to die yet we get so caught up in bullshit that in the end means nothing.
Since his death I think of him often. Out driving someone cuts me off, I am faced with a new policy at work, or I wanted to go to the beach and it rains all day. The things that would anger me or frustrate me are now put in a better perspective. None of it means much in the big picture. I am going to die and how about just enjoying myself without getting pissed off at normal nonsense that we all deal with that we have no control over.
Hey man, I'm sorry for your loss.
Things happening to us or near us are real eye opening to new perspectives.