this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
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Someone needs to coin a word to describe this type of infuriating corporate statement. They make astonishingly piss-weak arguments in a patronising tone, as if to insist that reality must be whatever they say it is because they’re a successful company.
It’s the kind of statement that’s not technically a lie, but still seems dishonest for them to present as though it were a sane response, almost like an attempt at gaslighting.
I think the person who wrote that response should be forced to wear it around their neck so that everyone can see what sort of person they are.
Corpospeak?
I guess? Someone also said "rhetoric", and although it counts as both of these, I'm specifically thinking about these kinds of statements you get in press releases that obnoxiously try to paint the world the way that the company needs it to be in order to justify what they're doing.
Things like "Customers don't like regulations that stop us giving them the best service", "Our users are clear that they want the freedom to choose what subscription models work for them", you know? Those kind of weaselly shit on my pie and tell me it's a blueberry statements, where they dishonestly attempt to pose as the good guys wanting to do best for the world. They clearly must know that nobody actually falls for it, but they say it anyway because they need it to be out there in order for their paid-off politicians and useful idiots to have something to support deregulation.