this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
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ADHD
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In typical ADHD style I wrote out a whole essay and decided instead, just to post this:
There is a point where you have to decide if it really matters.
Is the goal just to make them understand or do you need them to provide you with other support that only they can provide?
I also had a lot of trouble with both sets of parents.
I tried using examples of their own past behaviours and experiences. Things that had happened to their friends.
This worked somewhat. I don't think I'll ever make them fully understand.
Btw, I suspect my parents, my wife's parents and extended family all have ADHD.
On another note:
There is a chance your wife has ADHD as well, just different behaviours. It might be that there are things you do, that really trigger her.
I thought I was the normal person with the adhd wife. There was a strong hidden reason we got together and stayed together. It didn't become clear until later.
Thank you for your replying <3
After reading the comments I went back and read my post and realized I didn't get my point across. The thing that bothers me isn't that I don't get enough sympathy for my own struggle. What bothers me is that when I tell people "my ADHD has been eroding our marriage" everyone seems to be low-key (or not so low-key) assuming that my partner must be overreacting because it can't be THAT bad. They think I'm just a bit more chaotic than most people and my partner must be overly sensitive.
Obviously I'm not you, so will never fully understand your situation, but from my own experience, I can see why your in a very tough spot.
Even with all the work that me and my wife have done, there are still days that we get to each other. That one of us is at their most hyper or the other at a real low/overwhelmed state, unwilling to do anything but curl up in bed. Each ignoring our own bodies, either because we are too focused on something or don't want to/can't move.
Medication is a temporary fix for some or perhaps one symptom of ADHD.
Other people really won't understand unless they've lived in our heads for a short while.
I would be very annoyed as well that my problems were being dismissed and discounted.