Ask Lemmy

I try to have food bars and give it to them. Hopefully they eat it and not trade it for drugs or something

Depending on how they ask, it's either a short polite "no" or I just ignore them (it's mostly the former, thankfully). I rarely, if ever, have cash on me. And although it sometimes happen, I'm not exactly safe from a single bad month putting me under anyway.

Something I won't do is insult/harass/otherwise make them even more miserable. If I can't help them, I'm sure as hell won't make things worse for them.

Usually im with my kids, why would you ask a parent with kids for money? Any money I have is for the kids

Ignore and donate to a local shelter and/or kitchen. Do not encourage street harassment. I know it sucks and I know a lot of people are hurting. But community aid should not be divided based on who is the loudest, most aggressive, or most "convincingly in need" based on appearance. (If someone is hungry or thirsty by all means hook up the people in need in your community, never hurts to share food and water)

Say "Sorry can't help right now", and keep walking.

I tell them the truth, I don't have any cash on me.

On the rare ocassion i do, I'll give $10 - $20. Because I've been on the position where $20 is the difference between eating today or not, and it's terrifying.

I once experienced , in my 22. I gave out about 10 dol , then got keeping asked (i was too shy to reject!) so at last i gave out 50 dol, all what i took from school my college. bad grammar sry

I made it a personal rule that if I have a $5, it goes to whoever asks. I don't seek people out, but if it's asked, and I have that five dollar bill with me, it's theirs.

Have to pretend they're not there. It's awful. But I don't think that if I give them a few quid they'll turn their life around

I prefer to donate to food banks

It's not honest but effective:

Make and maintain eye contact from at least 20 feet away, when you're close enough to be heard: ask them if they have any spare change.

I give what I can when I can. It's rare to have actual cash, but if it's close to a restaurant I just ask if they want food or drink and buy them something with my card. Takes 5 minutes and is just a small act of kindness and support from another person. Most people don't even acknowledge they exist, let alone talk to them.

Life under capitalism seriously sucks for all of us (except a few hundred people), if I can maybe help make someone's day a little less shitty I'll try.

I don't mean this in a judgemental way at all, but just remember that they are humans too, just like you or I. Most people do not realize just how insanely lucky they are to be able to do basic things like work and have a house and car and have money and all that many people don't get the same opportunities and are dealt a bad hand in life through no fault of theirs. One big medical bill can make someone homeless in this system. Don't feel bad or awkward about having some resources that others don't have, but you can also slow down and share a little.

Treat other people how you would want to be treated if roles reversed. Simple as that.

Again, I don't mean to make anyone feel bad for not giving. I also don't mean to elevate myself in the least, I'm not any better than you, I'm just trying to help people see the humanity in others regardless of money.

"Seriously? Do I look like I have money?"

My wife & I were going into a restaurant one afternoon, and there was a man in a wheelchair with no legs below the knee sitting next door at the exit to Walmart. His sign said that he was a homeless vet. As we started in, I told my wife to hold on, and I ran over and gave him $20. When I got back, my wife said, "Did you just give that guy 20 bucks?" I said, "Yep, why?" She said, "You know he's just going to spend it on alcohol." I said, "I hope so, the guy ain't got no legs, let him have a good drink!"

In the northeastern U.S. I've mostly learned to acknowledge them, don't give anything, and move on with my life.

Not sure if it's bad luck or what, but nearly every time I've tried to be nice and offer them something it always backfires. I'll be passing by with some food and they'll ask me for some, I give them some and then they tell me it wasn't enough and to give them all the food I was carrying. Like WTF?

Another time I actually had some change on me so I gave him some and he said it wasn't enough money and started following me, wanted me to go to an ATM so I can take out more money for him. I was forced to tell him to stop following me or I'd have to call the cops.

I have even more stories like that.. going through those motions repeatedly it feels like the homeless have taught me not to give to the homeless. But hopefully your experiences have better outcomes.

This isn’t the best approach necessarily, but it’s a feel-good thing: If they’re intercepting me as I go to a store, I refuse to give money, but offer to buy them something to eat inside (or whatever else they need). I hold to those promises and they’re generally grateful.

I also sometimes give money if someone isn’t actively accosting about it. It’s down to what I can afford, too.

My brother has told me many times before that giving them money ain't gonna do nothing because that's money that they can use for drugs if they're addicted. He says buying them food is better.

As messed up as it is, kinda gotta agree, especially since zi don't know who's an addict and who's not.

I normally ignore them because I don't keep physical cash on me unless I'm making an as discrete as possible purchase. It may sound kinda cruel, but I find it easy for me to just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. Don't know whether that's more of a personality thing with me or because of my autism already making me less likely to wanna deal with people in general.

I ask them to come inside the store and I’ll buy them some food.

If they decline, oh well. If they agree, I happily pay for some food for them.

Some of these encounters have broke my heart, others have just reiterated what most people assume when it comes to these things.

I wonder if the people saying they give money every time live in major cities (and walk often).

If I gave a quarter to everyone who asked me for change, I'd be out over $200 per year. Double that if they're still going to ask me on my way back (which is likely).

Some of them would also be rolling their eyes at a quarter. Some panhandlers can even become aggressive if they don't like what they get.

I'm not going to say that these people are going to waste the money on drugs, though some will (and I don't care what they do with the money, really). But I'd rather...

• Donate that money to food banks and other causes
• Not carry around unnecessary change
• Not risk pulling out my wallet in the city (in case I forget to keep the change handy)
• And NOT turn city sidewalks into tolled walkways for people who can't afford a car

As for what I do? I do the hand thing and apologize. I make eye contact (or at least look their way). If they ask again, I tell them I don't have anything. There's no reason to feel shame for not giving. Like someone else said, it's a numbers game.

If there are regulars and people who are genuinely down on their luck, then (if you have the time and willingness), you could talk to them, and maybe offer to buy them food or something.

Of course, there's always the chance that they'll bring the food back and ask for a refund. But hey, they would've used your $20 the same way.

If I have cash, I'll give it. I don't give a shit whether they're being honest or not. My generosity is not tempered by the dishonesty of others.

I say "sorry not today" or something similar but also offer food if I have it. I've usually got a Clif bar or something. Also nice to have emergency blankets for winter hand outs.

Edit: just remember they are people too. Regardless of their current situation. Some might have mental health issues, others maybe substance abuse problems, some might just be down on their luck and unable to find work. Treat them with the respect you would want if you were in their shoes.

I just apologize and move on, never had a bad experience. I do feel bad afterwards, but I'm from LATAM and it's basically a 50/50 wether you get ripped off or not, so I'm not risking it.

If I don’t want to give them money, I just say “sorry I don’t have any cash.” Easy Peasy.

When I was driving through an area frequently that had a large amount of homeless I'd pack a few extra sandwiches, granola bars and bottles of water to give out. I also kept gallon bags and a large bag of dog food for those who had dogs. I never once had someone turn down food and ask for money instead.

I don't carry cash, so that's an easy answer.

Homeless people endure constant hardship, abuse and dehumanising behaviour. I might not give money, but I'm careful to avoid dehumanising them.

1. You can carry around smaller denominations if you do want to give something.

2. If they're close to a convenience store then I offer to go in and buy something for them (tell them a budget and ask about and preferences or restrictions).

3. If I'm not going to give anything, I still make eye contact, try to have a sympathetic smile on my face and say something like "I'm sorry, do take care". I don't know if this is dumb or patronising, but I'm trying to avoid being dehumanising as the constant response they get is for people to avoid eye contact, walk around with a wide gap or ignore completely. I want to try to at least acknowledge and respond.

I give to the obviously mentally impaired ones the most. The last person I gave a 20 to looked straight through me as he talked to god. There is only so much you can do. I know it sucks.

I don't usually have cash so I say "sorry I don't have any" and move on. I also volunteer my time with various local orgs so I don't feel bad

My standard is to say something like "I don't have any cash to share, good luck to you though." I work in homeless services and know a ton of folks who survive on panhandling. In my area, people have no problem finding food, there are a ton of social service orgs and churches that provide food daily.

The following is not a judgment and is a generalization that is far from universal. This is just a description of what I commonly observe. The unfortunate reality is that much of the money people get from panhandling goes to purchasing cigarettes, alcohol, meth, K2, crack, and/or fentanyl. For this reason I avoid giving people money directly.

You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, and if you feel bad for not giving someone money because you feel the inequality, consider donating your time or money to organizations in your area that are doing the work to help people gain employment or housing, meet their basic needs, or treat their physical or mental health needs.