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She also does typical things any manager does that I find very unfair that I want to explain so she maybe stops it.
UUMMMM….
Is being honest and having such a conversation a stupid idea?
Based on the stuff you have posted here is sounds to me like you have very naive and simplistic views on management and the work place.
I would let this lie and let the manager make the next move.
Saying that leftist will tell you that your manager is your enemy is a gross misunderstanding of what leftist values are.
At worst, management are working class folks who erroneously believe that they are part of the owning class. That does not make them an enemy, but a potential ally.
I'm not sure you understand what it means to "lean left". The left tends to focus more on compassion, sympathy, and empathy. Regardless of their management position, you were in the wrong, so yes, you owe them an apology.
Take responsibility for your actions, apologize when you're in the wrong, treat people with respect. This is what it means to lean left.
Apologize, but avoid relitigating the argument.
Apologize for raising your voice, even if she did it first. Apologize for not listening to her arguments, omit the triggering discussion.
You're apologizing for your behavior that you think was unacceptable, nothing more.
Have a constructive conversation a little time after that. That's when to bring up the trigger.
This is the single best and most important argument. This is the way.
I know lemmy is titled to the left, so most probable answer is going to be no, managers are our enemy, but hear me out.
No one says this, it's perfectly clear why you treat people like shit though. Be better.
it’s perfectly clear why you treat people like shit though
why's that?
“I just was shitty to someone and wonder if I should treat them they way id like to be treated”
Compassions for humans isn’t a right/left thing. It’s a good/bad human thing. Of course you should be compassionate and kind and forgiving.
You gave no context. But yes, apologize when you're wrong. As a leftist who hates managers? They're a person and if you screwed up you should make it better.
I agree. If you were wrong apologize. If the manager is as good as you're describing it will go well.
I’m a leftist and I have nothing against managers. I have been one. There are lots of people who have no business being in any position of authority or responsibility, and those are the people we all have problems with, not the job or title.
Yes, apologize. Extend an olive branch. If she’s one of the genuinely great people who have found their way to management, then show her some courtesy and it will pay dividends for both of you. Generally speaking, being courteous, empathetic, and constructive is always the best first approach.
forget she is a manager. she works for a living too. would you apologize to a friend? a peer coworker? your cat? if the behavior warrants an apology, apologize.
Agreed. Look, I'm all for the dictatorship of the proletariat; that being said, so many fellow leftists think class analysis is some moral framework rather than a systemic analysis of socioeconomic inequities. It's not. Some prole working their job to survive only to last long enough or perform good enough to get promoted doesn't make them a villain. Yes, you still have jobs, promotions, and managers under socialism. You just also get a say in those systems.
xcept cops, fuck cops.
I don't apologize to my cat, I get on my hands and knees and pray before her perfectness
No. If you are still thinking about it, you know what the right answer is. Apologize, and yes explain your baggage if you want to but that is your own issue, I don't think it's a good idea to justify an apology. Just "Sorry about the argument, I didn't mean to get so loud, I'll try to explain my thoughts more calmly if you want, when you have time."
I always thought like this: I'm there to work and earn money, not to make friends, not to fake a friendship with any manager. If they fire me, no manager is going to ask me how I'm holding up or what my plans for the future are. What may look like a friendship is all fake.
So many people on here have this mindset, and they’re usually also the ones constantly complaining about how everyone is mean and toxic and excludes them etc lol. Why would you not just treat coworkers as normal people, and if you become friends you become friends? You spend a huge amount of time with your coworkers so it makes no sense to have this attitude. It also assumes that other people have the same attitude of actively not wanting to make relationships.
Have the conversation. Be an actual human being.
if they fire me, no manager is going to ask me how I’m holding up or what my plans for the future are.
One of my coworkers fell victim to downsizing. My manager made sure to stay in touch with them to see how they were holding up, and shared with the rest of us (with permission) when they figured out what they were doing next.
The company also provides a year of psychiatric support (third party) for any employee who falls victim to downsizing.
It’s one of those reasons that that’s where I work (still).
the capitalists are the enemy not other workers. an easy way of distinguishing capitalists at a workplace and within said workplace's hierarchy is asking a question: "would the workplace function were they not to come to work one day?" and if the answer is no, then they aren't a capitalist. based on this text i'd say you probably should strive to clear the air between the two of you, if for nothing else than to make working there less shitty for screaming at a nice lady who just works there.
I see what you're saying but idk man, every work I've ever had continued to function when I didn't show up (because sick or whatever).
well yeah, the argument kinda falls apart when you apply it to yourself. in any case referring to ideologies in order to not have to apologize when you've screamed at a fellow worker seems kinda weird to me, because i've never really thought "all managers are enemies" or whatever, seems really needlessly extreme and shortsighted to direct your animosity towards this person in particular. just go apologize and go on with your life.
I'm not OP but
the argument kinda falls apart when you apply it to yourself
It would also fall apart if anyone else applied it to me :)
yeah mostly applicable to the c-suite in most cases now that i think of it :D and also yeah i thought you were the OP in my reply, sry
If it was me I would apologize to her briefly and clearly in front of other people.
I'm there to work and earn money, not to make friends, not to fake a friendship with any manager.
That seems sad to me.
I managed a team for a few years. Another team in our organization made a pitch to take two of the people from my team into theirs. I ended up going along with the plan because it was a way to quickly get them a salary increase that I'd been trying to get for them for years. The rest of my team got absorbed into another team in our group and I transitioned to a non-management role.
We still chat constantly and we get together regularly for dinner. I consider them all close friends.
Edit: I wanted to add: if you were wrong, you should apologize. It doesn't matter who the person you wronged is. All that matters is your integrity.
I think you should
Think about its benefit to you, could it negatively affect you if you don't make up? Your working environment is a place you spend your time consistently, and if you think it'd make you more comfortable working there, it wouldn't hurt to do so.
Yes, you're there to work for money there, but your emotional state while working matters a lot too. I'd rather make just enough to pay my bills in a place I'm happy working, compared to a job I'd absolutely hate working that pays me millions.