this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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i only feel sexual attraction towards my partners, and they have to be sexual first. if they’re not sexual people, i only feel romance to them and no sexual feelings. i frankly don’t wanna bang anyone and have never felt like actually doing so until i met my partner, and even then, it’s more out of curiosity and romantic sparks than anything else (i’m super romantic so i’m not aromantic).

i only feel sexual feelings under certain circumstances, and even then, i use it to make myself happy and not really wanting to have sex with someone.

i am sure i feel sexual attraction, like probably towards my partner, but i’d say less so than most people do, perhaps???

i’m demisexual for now which is on the ace spectrum.

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[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Try explaining how this works to a full sexual on a dating app. You’d think you had shot their animal companion with the given reaction.

I managed to explain this to family members who took it upon themselves to ‘educate’ me on dating.

only one family member got it cuz they are the same. Meanwhile the others gave me odd looks and stares and continued to attempt to lecture me how dating works. Like I get it. You gonna just bang whatever moves cuz ‘nature’. Maybe widen your scope a bit that others are not like you. But also maybe we need to talk about how consent works.

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[–] Lj404333@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I felt the same as op till one person changed it slightly but I still don't have that pull. It's more for curiosity or pleasing with anyone else. They are more fwb than bf and that works with being nd. They treat you like a bf without the label or ties. Sex still gives me panic attacks but the fwb arrangement helps a bit

[–] Rumo161@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago

No, if you dont follow a specific definition made by a white cis man you are doing it wrong and should be prosecuted. Finding your own definition makes you a thread to society. (s.)

Be who you want to be. Let yourself enjoy it and call yourself whatever feels good.

[–] forestbeasts@pawb.social 1 points 1 week ago

Yes.

-- Frost

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm like tthat too, never really cared about sex, I prefer to deal with it myself when needed, but my partners liked it so I did it.
I never considered myself asexual because I do feel atraction to men, I like kissing and touching just don't care about sex.

I just always thought I have a low sex drive. I was married for 5 years but stop dating about 10 years ago and feel finally free.

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