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this post was submitted on 11 May 2026
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I feel seen in a bad way
Realistically, very little actually happens "fast" in my life. For me, things are more like the concept of punctuated equilibrium. Stretch of sameness, sudden life altering changes coming fast and heavy. Get used to the change. Stretch of sameness for another while. Sudden life altering changes coming fast and heavy again. Reduce. Reuse. Rinse. Recycle. Repeat.
Looking back, those stretches of sameness when life was relatively peaceful, calm, safe, etc tend to melt into each other, mentally compressed, then archived. Those sudden changes grow and balloon, warping my memories of the past, taking over seeming like they just kept coming. To the point where, it's like just yesterday I was starting college.
But then on top of that, life just gets more and more complicated without even necessarily trying. Harder and harder and harder. Best of plans, greatest of hopes. Smashed to pieces. Most of it, I didn't make complicated or intentionally bring upon myself. Much of it, in fact, was unavoidable even if it was predictable. And it keeps coming.