this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
341 points (95.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

40004 readers
3389 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 70 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Alexa is the intruder itself.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Indeed. Why would anyone use them despite not even getting paid for it but paying for it?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Lmao, I assumed it was free spyware, ppl pay for it too? Ayyyroflufocopter.

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

But hey, it can also switch on your lights and play music. If you also pay for prime :-)

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 days ago

Home Assistant!

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 days ago

You should really consider never using Alexa again.

Seriously, this is Spyware in your home for Amazon, and they work with and share their data with law enforcement.

[–] jlow@slrpnk.net 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Now redo it in HomeAssistant and with selfhosted music to get rid of the surveillance in your home.

[–] spicehoarder@lemmy.zip 24 points 2 days ago

The intruder was Alexa

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 41 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Then release a dozen roombas

[–] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 28 points 2 days ago (2 children)

With frickin' laser beams attached to their heads

[–] Spezi@feddit.org 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

WHERES THE HEAD ON A ROOMBA??? 😳

[–] xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Spezi@feddit.org 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

.

.

W̵̧͚͔͖͇̝͕͚̪̝̫̫̼͋͜ͅͅḤ̸̢̡̧͚̖̞̜̟̝͎͎̰̫̪̰̗̳͍̪͙̣͚̤̞̈͑̊̅̐̿̄̉̾͂͋̚͘͝͝Ë̵̺̼͈̭̼̪͕̟̯̖̠̩̝̖́͋̀͋͂̿̇̑̎̑̉́̅͂̾̎͛̚R̵̢̛̬͎̼̮͍̹̭̼̈̐̋̐̋͋͊̒̌͒͘̕͘͝ͅE̷̢̛͓͙̤̺̱͕̯͔͙̫̠̮̘̠̭͙̭͓̗̼͓̼͖̦̙̥̻̟̦͒͆̈́̎͆͐̃͛͒̀̈́͊̋̿̈́̄̃̆͒͐̿̋̓̑́͒͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅS̷̡̢̨̧̛͔̯̦̺̯̹̠̪̒̈́̉̎͆̔͗̏͂͠ͅ ̷̢͎̙̜̫͚̰̙̙̅́̿̉̿̒̂͊͂̃̋̀̅̒͋͆̔̈̋̈́̔̋͝͠ͅT̴̡̨̢̢̰̘̜͖̯̹͚̜̯̖̖̲̰͍̯̮̲̙̟̰̩̪̱͔̩̺̞͖̫̖̋́̉̿̈́̓͗̍̒̇̆̈́̾͛̎̊̈́́̍̈̂̀͌̋̀̄͊̌̋͗͒̀̕̚͘͜͝͠͝͝Ḧ̸̢͎́̋̌̾͗̑́̓͒̈́̇́̒͂̿̇̆̅̈͊̐̓̄̀̊̚̚͝͝͝͠͝Ę̸̡̲̪͔͎̱͉̯̹͔̜̮̗̤̫̦̞̤͎̗̖́͐̀̄͆̂̀̓̒̿͗͐̈͌͗̏̓̅͜ ̶̡̢̛̟̙̗̩̝̮̤͛̎͒̇͌̏̄̉̀̈́̀̽̔̅̉̚F̷̨̖̰͎̟͎͔͔͓̻͔̤̥͔͒̍̀͊̌̒͂̔̍̐͑̃̄̈́͌̿͊͆̓̆́͜͝Ư̷̧̧̥̘̹̘͖̣̞̹̳̾̎̈̀͜C̷̼͒̈̅̉͑͊̐̌̽̒̀͐̋̚͝K̸̢̧͎̞͍̝͍͎̥̬͓̱͙̦̠͓̜̣̣̜̤̩̫͕̻̟̪̿̔͑̂̈͒̈́͛̈̌̈́̃̓̆͋̄̒̓̔͗̈́̆̄̅̅̃̚̚̚͜Į̴͔͉͉̮͕̗̞̮̼̠͚͍̯̫̼͓̜̠̙̼̺̥̲̦͕͎̱̞̑̓̑̀̒̆͛́͊͗̾̌̇͒͒̀̌̂́͒́̊̉͠ͅŅ̶̡̧̤̰̜̺͔̱̙̤̫͇̼̳̫̤͖͇̪̣͍̘̩̬̞͈͓̘̖̝̲̓͐͂̾̔͂̔ͅͅͅG̸̰̯̠̬̐̎̾̏̂̉́̉͊̅͑͊̍̉͐̈́̎̈̌̍͋͗̑̀̽͊̏̄̈́͘̕͘͘͝ ̷̨̧̹̖̣͉̖͔̩̯͑̾̎̂̊͊́̓̉̑͘͘͝͝͝͝T̸̡̻͓̬̻̜̹̠̭͙̞̩̦̜͇͈̦̖̖̞̫̫̭̱͓̝̭͓̼̯͍̩̝̫͑̽͊͒͑̾͊̓̌͗̚̕̚͜͝͠ͅA̴͙̗̦̱̣̗͕͉͆̈́̚ͅȊ̷̧̧̢̢̧̢̗̱͓̗͈̟̠̩̳͙̹̠̜͎̬̞̯͕͕̺̭̖͈̗͓̺̣͚̖̄͒̆̀̌͜Ḻ̷̨̢̦̦̦͕͇͙͚̙̜͎̙͔̯̺͖͖̳͙̝͔̗̬̯̃̎̋͂͆̒̾̿

.

.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago

Posterior to the head.

[–] elephantium@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

You know, I had one simple request

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Well, this break and enter has turned into an execution for the mashing of IP.

The TOS Kirk v. Hostile alien music would be more appropriate. The Borg never threatened to kill, they aren't Ingo Montoya.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

with jim carreys cable guy version dubbed over top

[–] Death__BySnuSnu@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaahhhhh!!!

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

*Bingo Montoya

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Fuck that noise.

You want a fight? You better be blasting Duel of the Fates, otherwise I don't want any.

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

My alarm is seriously like that! I put an air raid siren

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I always thought it'd be cool to build one of those remote controled nerf tanks but with a paintball gun. Then set it to patrol the house. It's a lot more doable now that I'm running home assistant but I'm still not sure how yo make it happen.

[–] pipe01@programming.dev 6 points 2 days ago

Sounds like something Michael Reeves would make

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I believe in your dream and I hope one day you can make this happen.

[–] Dhs92@piefed.social 1 points 2 days ago

With pepperballs

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 7 points 2 days ago

I prefer Ride of the Valkyries to Imperial March.

Does the floor lamp have a "strobe" mode?

[–] socsa@piefed.social 6 points 2 days ago

This is actually a better home protection plan than "have loaded guns in every room in case I need to draw on the baddies stealing my Xbox as they barge into my living room and I dive behind the sofa." It will scare 9/10 burglars away, and it gives you an opportunity to set up a defensive position without noise giving it away.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Imperial March is out of sorts here. The alert the message and then a John Williams march? Get some audio to set the mood, like No Love by Death Grips or Caledonia by Cro-Magnon.

[–] CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Yakety sax and have a robot shoot paintballs with gentian violet die. (Doesn't wash off, if you use enough it will soak through clothes so masks aren't so useful.)

[–] stolig@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Also deploy disco ball from ceiling

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Thisiswherethefunbegins.wav

[–] HuePony@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] waterproof@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

What're you? President of his fan club?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 days ago

Say "I'm gonna do to you what Janeway should have done to Tuvix at the start of the episode."

Play "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows - 12 hour version"

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Really confuse them, use this version of the Imperial March

https://youtu.be/B9MShtCg4fk

Sounds like an American WWII propaganda song