this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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I see this on Imgur and Bluesky as well. Here's a great example, and the one that prompted me to finally ask. My daughter has autism and ADHD. She takes speed to slow down. Best friend is ADHD, same deal. But they're basically "normal" people. I'm truly sorry is this comes off as insensitive.

  • It's normal to be aware of how people perceive us. We are apes. Need I elaborate?

  • We ALL mess up more when someone is watching. Forget the word, but it's a well-known psychological tic.

  • Yes, we all conform and hide parts of ourselves in public, doesn't mean you can't "be yourself". Want to see someone who doesn't mask at all? Trump.

  • If you're not aware of threats, Darwin would like a word. And yes, many things we perceive as threats are dumb monkey perceptions. We're all silly in this way.

  • Uh, I double check my door locks. Not paranoid, but my situation in America makes that a simple, smart move. Some people live around lots of strangers, checking your private space is a normal thing.

  • We all hate being stared at. That's a monkey threat. We evolved that way.

The "suspicious sounds" thing is the only part I'd pick out as a bit strange. But who hasn't jumped when the ice maker kicks in? I've often thought someone crawled in the dog door. (A bear did one time, a hybrid wolf another, so let me slide on that one.)

I can go on /c/autism and pick 100 other memes for examples. Almost every single thing I see there, "Yeah, we all go though that/feel that way/do that thing." Here's one:

https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/6k/Lb/6kLbDigyQuftk4k.jpg

Doesn't everyone do that now and again?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Serious questions:

  • Does lemmy have an above normal number of autistic/ADHD people?

  • Is this perception a way for young people to feel special and different?

  • Maybe young people don't realize just how fucking weird growing up is and think they have a problem?

  • Do people not realize that even after adulthood, we all have weird foibles?

  • Are people so socially isolated that they think their weird thoughts are uncommon?

Just want to start the discussion. Help me understand.

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[–] Rhoeri@piefed.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It’s a pretty common thing nowadays to self-diagnose. Some understandably want an answer to why they are how they are, while others want to feel like they’re original and unique.

However, getting an actual diagnosis from a licensed psychiatrist is paramount to understanding and managing one’s behavior, emotional state, and well being. Self-diagnosis is dangerous to these same things.

Being autistic isn’t cute. It’s not silly and quirky. For many, it’s hell. And having ADHD doesn’t excuse poor decisions and bad behavior like a lot of people seem to assume it does.

Having said this- many people who self-diagnose try to see normal human behavior as being neurodivergent behavior when it’s not. Anyone who knows better would have learned this back with the basics when they were diagnosed by a professional.

[–] froh42@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I'm living with undiagnosed Adhd for all of my life. My son got a diagnosis when he was 6 or 7 - thus I know the symptoms, and frankly I know too much of the diagnosis method now to get myself an honest diagnosis. (I know how to answer to get the results I want). And I don't need it anymore, I adjusted my life to play more into my strengths and less into my weaknesses. (And the last 10 years - in my 50s - I feel like symptoms are getting milder)

The complicated thing is: Every single symptom of adhd is being experienced by the majority of normal people. It's just being "more" of that statistically.

It feels like setting the difficulty level on a video game, you'll see the same things, you'll see the same bosses. You play on hard while the guy how got to play life in story mode tells you how lazy you are because you didn't fight all the bosses, yet.

A big part of dealing with adhd is accepting that my challenge is mine and is different from yours.

And that probably is why "being neurodivergent" is so "attractive". It gives us the freedom of not being seen as lazy or stupid, and that's something that I think should really apply to every single fucking human on this world.

We all have our challenges. You are OK as you are. You are worthy of love. And yes, life is hard, you're not lazy.

If seeing people like this were the norm, "neurotypical" people wouldn't need to see themselves as divergent. People just use "adhd" or "autism" to say "look, I have my challenges, too".