this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2026
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No Stupid Questions

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I see this on Imgur and Bluesky as well. Here's a great example, and the one that prompted me to finally ask. My daughter has autism and ADHD. She takes speed to slow down. Best friend is ADHD, same deal. But they're basically "normal" people. I'm truly sorry is this comes off as insensitive.

  • It's normal to be aware of how people perceive us. We are apes. Need I elaborate?

  • We ALL mess up more when someone is watching. Forget the word, but it's a well-known psychological tic.

  • Yes, we all conform and hide parts of ourselves in public, doesn't mean you can't "be yourself". Want to see someone who doesn't mask at all? Trump.

  • If you're not aware of threats, Darwin would like a word. And yes, many things we perceive as threats are dumb monkey perceptions. We're all silly in this way.

  • Uh, I double check my door locks. Not paranoid, but my situation in America makes that a simple, smart move. Some people live around lots of strangers, checking your private space is a normal thing.

  • We all hate being stared at. That's a monkey threat. We evolved that way.

The "suspicious sounds" thing is the only part I'd pick out as a bit strange. But who hasn't jumped when the ice maker kicks in? I've often thought someone crawled in the dog door. (A bear did one time, a hybrid wolf another, so let me slide on that one.)

I can go on /c/autism and pick 100 other memes for examples. Almost every single thing I see there, "Yeah, we all go though that/feel that way/do that thing." Here's one:

https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/6k/Lb/6kLbDigyQuftk4k.jpg

Doesn't everyone do that now and again?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

Serious questions:

  • Does lemmy have an above normal number of autistic/ADHD people?

  • Is this perception a way for young people to feel special and different?

  • Maybe young people don't realize just how fucking weird growing up is and think they have a problem?

  • Do people not realize that even after adulthood, we all have weird foibles?

  • Are people so socially isolated that they think their weird thoughts are uncommon?

Just want to start the discussion. Help me understand.

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Here’s one:

https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/6k/Lb/6kLbDigyQuftk4k.jpg

Doesn’t everyone do that now and again?! I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

I do. Not autistic. Do have ADHD, but not sure if it affects this. Sending memes requires very little conscious thought besides "oh hey that person I like communicating with, might like this meme" whereas responding to the actual text requires reading said text, processing it, and coming up with a response. Depending on the day, person in question, and the subject matter, this may take a lot of effort or none at all. Depending on the day, person in question, and the subject matter, I may consider it a high priority or not.

But some of these issues I think are also a matter of how much you do it. At least something I've noticed with ADHD, particularly the executive dysfunction part of it: It's normal to not want to get out of bed the second you wake up, but is it normal to stay in bed for 4 or 5 hours before your bladder finally forces you up, while actually holding back the need to pee for 2 or 3 of those hours?

As for the fear of being perceived image:

  1. Everyone does this to some degree, but maybe people for people with a disorder it happens so much it affects their life in a negative way?

  2. Literally happens to everyone I know of. I think there's things I do better on autopilot than consciously because I'm so used to doing them - and if someone's watching, I become conscious.

  3. Pressure to conform or mask - I think this is most people too, to some degree. Maybe for people with a disorder the pressure to mask is so strong it overtakes their brains and they feel they aren't completely functional in social situations because of it.

  4. Hyper aware of threats - again, I think this is everyone is aware of threats, that's evolutionary. But how aware is "hyper aware"? If you can't stop blocking out trains of thought that go like "that guy on the other side of the street looks like he has a bulge in his pocket and hey maybe it's a gun, and though he's not at point blank range, he IS close enough that if he shoots multiple times, it might hit?" Then I think it's an issue.

  5. I double check too, I'm just forgetful. I used to not be suspicious of all sounds, but with my ex-wife living even in the same country as me, you never know... So it's justified IMO lol

  6. I think that's most people. If you LIKE being stared at, you'd probably be great at being a public figure of some sort. Actor, politician, whereever you have to talk in front of a camera or a bunch of people, or both.

Deep down we all have some insecurities, and that can lead to a fear of being perceived, that doesn't necessarily mean it's autism. I used to be super awkward into my teens. Definitely had a fear of being perceived. As I grew less awkward, the fear of being perceived got smaller. Started hanging out with friends more, and by the age of 18 I became a clown. Not a literal clown, but I'm literally the comedic relief character in any group of friends. No longer afraid to make myself look stupid on purpose for a joke, etc.

I think these memes use these super common "actually everyone does this" traits on purpose. Makes it easier to relate, whether or not you actually have the disorder - though if you have it, chances are that you do these things a lot more, or they affect you more.