this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2026
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Hey guys, I recently started to play with the thought to deploy a Snikket (XMPP) server on my VPS to play around with it a bit. I already had a Matrix (Continuwuity) server running on an older VPS with Docker at one point. But besides me using some bridges (WhatsApp, Signal etc.) it didn't see a lot of use. Originally I had set it up with the goal to replace Discord, but so far couldn't get my small group of gamer friends to switch to something else.

What are your experiences with XMPP (doesn't have to be Snikket) or Matrix? Would you recommend one over the other maintenance and/or usability wise?

Just curious what the community's current sentiment is in regards to private self hosted messaging services 😊

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[–] Yaky@slrpnk.net 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Matrix clients aren’t great

IMO the main advantage that Matrix-Element has for normal users is the branding: Element is Element on the web, Android and iOS. (Snikket is trying to do the same for XMPP though)

Matrix is too difficult for “normal” people

Agreed. Simple user+password login to a hosted (non-matrixdotorg) server takes 5-6 pages to click through.

Matrix public rooms have a CP problem

I was spammed with racist copypasta on XMPP once too. But being in large Matrix chats guarantees being invited/messaged.

...Matrix also pisses metadata to any server it federates with, including matrix [.] org

Replication+sync is a strange decision for chats. It sort of makes sense for slower fediverse posts, but creates a lot of strange scenarios and privacy issues with chats. Also, matrixdotorg is used for key backups and vectordotim is used for integrations IIRC.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

IMO the main advantage that Matrix-Element has for normal users is the branding: Element is Element on the web, Android and iOS.

I agree, though Delta Chat has this too, it's the same on linux/mac/win, android, and iOS. There's also Arcane Chat for android developed by one of the devs of Delta Chat as sort of a testing ground but that's like an if you know you know thing, like my mom just thinks we're all on Delta Chat. One thing is they don't have a web interface afaik, you need the app.

Simple user+password login to a hosted (non-matrixdotorg) server takes 5-6 pages to click through.

And the recovery passwords and all that just seem to be out of reach for those who just use hunter2 for everything, if the complaints I got are indicative if most people.

I was spammed with racist copypasta on XMPP once too. But being in large Matrix chats guarantees being invited/messaged.

Good news for Delta Chat is they don't really do groups like that, you can group chat but it's more for like friends and family than strangers, I see that as a win in this use case, where if we need xmpp/matrix style public groups we can fall back to xmpp. You also have to accept chats before they go through and there is no discoverability so you won't get random drive bys.