this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2026
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That guy's (a lawyer) case was rejected by three Grand Juries, until they recharged him under statute that didn't require a Grand Jury.
When they got to court, the ICE Ape "victim" testified that when the sandwich hit him, it burst open, and mustard and onions covered his body armor, and the smell gave him PTSD, which now uncontrollably triggers whenever he smells onions or mustard. His life was totally ruined by that sandwich throwing meanie.
During cross-examination, the defense really let the guy sell the story of his victimization really hard, then they displayed a photo of the sandwich, taken by investigators AFTER the incident, and it was fully, tightly wrapped by a Subway Sandwich Artist, who really knew how to wrap a sandwich. Give that person the Employee of the Month Award.
The ICE Ape's testimony was proven to be an obvious total lie, and the dependent was quickly found not guilty. The ICE Ape was NOT charged with perjury, which is the real crime in this story.
And the defendant was a lawyer, who won his case, so if he was fired, I'm sure he's been hired, by now. If not, he should do a GoFundMe, and he'll be a millionaire in a few days.
They never charge police and their witnesses with perjury unless they cross the police. Perjury is a lot more serious than people think. An ex cop near me got charged with like a 30 year perjury charge in state court for instance. Sick fuck was covering for his 20 some year old kid in the big city, he lured someone to his house, and murdered and cut them into pieces, but then never got around to disposing of it and it stunk until someone called the cops and he got found out.
But the ex cop dad lied and covered for his kid. He got charged. I had no idea it was such a big charge, or can be. But the police habitually lie and and never charged. Prosecutors too, and they have total immunity from lying, it doesn't matter if they knowingly lie to send and innocent person to prison or not. Prosecutors deserve a lot more scrutiny, and prison time honestly, they are some of the worst pieces of shit in the country that we never think about, and one of the most powerful people in any county. In the 80s they had a sort of power grab from what they were before.
I think perjury can be somewhat flexible, depending on the charge they're lying about. Lie about witnessing a signature, and it's probably a fine, maybe probation. Lie about a murder, and it's a big deal.
They can also just increase the charges from perjury to something like obstruction or even being an accessory or part of a conspiracy.
Ah okay. I guess that makes it all better.
It doesn't make it all better, but it illustrates that their intimidation strategies are failing badly, but only if the whole story is heard.
By your telling, a guy was badly victimized by ICE. In my telling, he gets his revenge, and humiliates them. Making people fear them is good propaganda, but may have the effect of scaring people into not engaging. Making people see their virtuosic incompetence energizes people to continue to resist.