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Or you could live in a less urban area, specifically one where transplants are less common than people who grew up less than 30 min away. People who never left their home town, whose friend group also never left, still have all their friends from school and don’t need or want more. They don’t really want to be your friend even if you do click. You can meet them out dozens of times and have running jokes when you see each other, but they’ll never go out of their way to make or keep plans.
Everyone who moves to my current area says basically the same thing about how difficult it is to make friends here. People much more commonly get their friends hired with them than make friends with new people who get hired, so even that hasn’t been a super fruitful endeavor. Only people I’ve managed to make lasting friends with have also been from elsewhere and struggled.
That’s not to say people aren’t nice and welcoming, they are, they just aren’t welcoming into their social circles.
I've been told the same thing from my aunt, which moved into the countryside with her newlywed husband long ago. She only got to get friends after her firstborn got into school - the 8 years until that time were very isolating, even with work contacts.
Yep. my city is like this. it is very dense and urban... but incredibly insular.
the only way to really connect with people is if they don't have a tight knit friend group. the only friendships I've made that have lasted are with people like that... the people who have the knit groups fro years ago just don't want to bother with anyone new or outside the group. i don't understand it at all, like people will only socialize with people they went to college with... 5, 10, 20 years later and if you didn't go to their college they don't want to be your friend because you can't sit around and reminisces about getting drunk together 10 years ago.
in my city people are very insular about school, career, company etc. It's hard to find people who don't care about that stuff and are more interested in you here and now. Not what you did in the past.