Leopards Ate My Face

She's only become very vocal about her beliefs since the covid vaccine propaganda has been going around. I always thought she didn't vaccinate us because she just didn't care. It was rare for her to care about any of our (me and my siblings) physical ailments, or illnesses. And we don't really speak, even when we do talk, there's never any conversations where we talk about things, so I wouldn't have ever spoken to her about getting my babies vaccinated. She's a full blown narcissist, so conversations with my mother look like, her running some spiel about how amazing she is, how much better she is at literally everything, how much of a burden and annoyance everyone in her life is, because they are lazy or some such and make so much work for her, (even though she never lifts a finger to do anything, it's all done by these people for her). And I'm the black sheep, she's hated me the most for as long as I can remember, she diminishes and ridicules everything I say, or outright ignores me, randomly pretends I don't exist and she can't hear anything i say. All that to try to explain, we've never really talked, like ever.

Partially she hated me the most because from teen years on i always called her out on her shit. Sometimes just by asking simple questions, sometimes by outright stating the ways , what she was saying didn't make sense. Lately I've been calling her out on the covid bullshit, but she makes such idiotic statements, I'm starting to feel like what's the point. She doesn't listen to or consider what I'm saying. I'm feeling like it's a waste of my energy. None of us believe her bullshit. The last time she started on her vaccine rants, it was that "covid vaccine caused all those deaths" spiel. I explained to her, painstakingly, that more people will die without the vaccine. She said that doesn't matter, any deaths are too many. There's nothing rational going on up there.

I feel like She just likes to rage about something, it doesn't matter what, but it has to be something right wing type. To distract from the massive ego vs reality imbalance, rife inside narcissistic types. Their beliefs don't match reality, about themselves, so they're constantly having to either try and create that fantasy reality by tearing others down, in an attempt to assert the hierarchy, therefore being able to see themselves as better than those they tear shreds off, in some twisted logic, or distracting themselves with some injustice (usually a bourgeois injustice, as they see themselves as the top 1%. Regardless if that matches reality).

I had a friend who was an antivaxer, too. She wasn't a crazy narcissist, like my mother. She just fell for the propaganda. She was respectful about it, we just didn't talk about it at all. But if we did accidentally come upon the subject in conversation, she still wouldn't say anything. She didn't ever try to convince me, none of that. We drifted apart, busy lives.