this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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I'm sorry, but all of us here on Lemmy have agreed that we need to see your official ID, a 20 second video of you turning your head left and right while blinking, a certificate of your DNA and any other relevant biometric data, a complete list of everyone you've ever had sexual relations with, your passwords to all online accounts, and the account number and sort codes of all bank accounts you hold.
If you don't provide this information within 2 hours we'll just have to assume you're a paedophile terrorist and terminate your access to socialising with any other human being online.
Thank you for your attention on this matter.
Disclaimer!
Please do not upload any of this information! If it wasn't obvious enough this comment is in jest! For the love of ~~Christ~~ burritos do not do what a fellow student at my university did and upload your password onto a publicly visible forum!I'd print this and upload a video of wiping my ass with it, but you could ID me from my asshole print
That was you?!?!
Bumetrics
It's funny because I watch Kitboga, a famous scambaiter, and he asks scammers to verify some bullshit thing with their webcams, and many agrees.
Even people who clearly shouldn't divulge their identity are so used to banking identity verification they comply immediately when you ask to see their face...