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how do I accept that my father is declining? (linux.community)

submitted 1 day ago by eli04@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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my father was a university professor and an expert in his field, writing and publishing.

I'm not happy with my job and I'm deciding if I should keep it or study a bachelor, meaning less money for at least 3 years, working part time, relocating... for an uncertain future.

I explained my fears and the situation to my father thoroughly. This once brilliant person capable of giving me several points of view about several topics pasted my questions to an AI engine and sent me its answers, it's like he didn't even try to answer the questions himself. wtf?

It's sad and scary: a person I once could confide in, ask for guidance is now... disappearing? It's like he disregarded the emotional component completely.

He is now 78 years old. Am I being unrealistic?

And the AI answer? gets several things wrong and doesn't tell me anything new but holy shit, the way the answer is phrased (my personal opinion, what I think is...), no wonder so many seniors believe they're talking to an actual human, which is scary on so many levels, because the engine hallucinated several false facts and presented them so neatly packaged, seniors take them as correct fact.

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[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

It is hard to accept. First thing is try to be kind to yourself and him. You will feel like you are mourning your memory of him but as best you can make the most of the current situation and find the new ways you can connect and share time or moments because these too will be in your past one day. A lot of what you used to seek from him, you will allow yourself to find elsewhere and it will be a different relationship, not better or worse just different.

As for the life decision, if you have an opportunity to better your situation, if you feel you have the time and energy, it’s always worth it on the other side, because even the pursuit is enough to open you up to things you can’t even foresee now if you were to stay grinding away and it will eat at you and make you miserable if it’s truly that bad.