Memes

Narcissists tend to have a certain "charm." They know exactly how to behave to gain the approval and admiration of others, especially in a society that rewards Dark Triad traits.

When you've been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you tend to see through it. But no one believes you, and they all turn against you because they admire the narcissist, and narcissists tend to be pretty manipulative to get what they want.

This is why it infuriates me when people conflate all Cluster B disorders into one thing. Borderline Personality Disorder is more common among the victims of abuse, while narcissists tend to be the abusers and generally from privileged backgrounds.

Narcissists are infatuated with themselves, whereas people with BPD tend to hate themselves. It's two different kinds of self-obsession, with completely different causes and consequences, yet people try to treat them as if they're the same. While failing to identity narcissists, and mislabeling BPD as narcissism.

BPD traits in general are far more stigmatized, even though people with BPD are the ones who both require and deserve more compassion, understanding, and acceptance in order to recover. The treatment for NPD involves removal of the social approval they're so used to and expect; whereas the treatment for BPD requires a more affirming and validating social setting. The conflation keeps people with BPD suffering, while simultaneously enabling people with NPD to continue.

Long story short, if you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse, you're far more likely to be ostracized by society while the narcissist continue receiving approval, admiration, and promotions...

Edit: Ugh, autocorrect changed "with" to "without" so I fixed it. I hate it when my machine silently changes the entire meaning of my sentence to its exact opposite!