this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2026
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Technology
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Yeah bro we're totally just scanning everything you send just on the off chance that a child (even though you have none and don't know any) are takes your phone and uses it to send a dick pic haha no bro don't worry it's for their safety haha
I estimate about 3 months until an inevitable data breach where it turns out they actually keep copies of all of the images because of course they will.
And, because Apple cares about us, they can create the Personal Pictures Privacy Pro subscription. A plan where any compromising images are kept out of public dark web Facebook groups, for the low price of $29.95 per month.
Disclaimer: Privacy and security applied by your Personal Pictures Privacy Pro plan will be generated by mid-tier cost effective AI, which itself was trained on the work of the most affordable people who told us they were privacy and security experts.