See, this is where the nuances enter. My dishwasher is my hands, so I much prefer my top loader washing machine and keep on super load wash to get the corn kernals clean enough to pluck before the dryer.

I’d say most people of average height can easily get up on a washing machine just with their ass. And if it’s top load, then you’ve certainly got a nice big hole to shit in. Probably bigger than most toilets, though both come in different sizes. That central agitator might get in the way though, so you’ll probably have to shit to the side of it, or in front or behind. Usually I also have to piss while I shit, and that would get in the way there too. Especially considering splash back. Now ironically you are literarally directly next to running hot and cold water, but you can’t use it to wash your hands, which one should do after shitting. So you might have to go to the bathroom sink anyway. So if you were trying to save yourself a trip to the bathroom you didn’t save any time there. Wiping is probably okay if you have a dirty laundry basket or pile close by. You’ll have to be sure to wipe with appropriate colors and loading groups. Like you wouldn’t want to do one wipe with a towel and another wipe with a delicate item. Again your old friend toilet paper back in the bathroom is saving you time, as you don’t have to sort anything before you wipe. The more I think about this, it’s almost as if having a specific appliance or device specifically designed for accommodating the act of defecating is probably preferable as opposed to repurposing other devices not specifically designed for that purpose. In conclusion, I have my doubts about the efficacy of these life hacks.