Asklemmy

When college aged, I modeled for a few art majors' photo projects.

I caused a pizza delivery car to run off the road through the power of my pelvic thrusts. Thankfully they corrected quickly and no one was hurt.

My mental breakdown has their own Facebook page.

I started numerous traditions in my social circles.

I'm reasonably good at taking postcard quality photos with garbage equipment.

I've been on radio, as a PSA to get your bum fingered for prostate cancer. Edited the recording myself too. The cadence of saying "digital rectal exam" is burned into my memory, from listening to the audio so damn much while editing.

I made a Smash Bros Brawl hack that quickly became a local mainstay of gaming get togethers (even outside of my immediate social circle) and persisted after I left the area. Ton of custom stuff layered over Brawl Minus, long before infinite came around.

I've made a number of custom programs for making "glitch art". Algorithms to screw with images. Toss in ~50 of my photos, run them through ~20 different functions that make psuedo-random changes, do ~10 runs per function to get even more results. Then delete the results down to ~10 worth keeping. More fun than it sounds.

I led a small marching group in an international parade on ~20 minutes of training while quite drunk. I directed them while holding a flagpole as an extension of my junk. They shouldn't have let me, and I asked if they wanted a friend with actual marching experience to do it, but they said they wanted me to do it.

I've made multiple 6-10 hour drives, some on little sleep, to be there for friends and family in times of need.

Before I proposed to my wife, I spent a week smashing together existing romhacks of Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and getting them to work properly combined by fiddling with the code, then I did a handful of custom modifications myself to the graphics and script. End result is a special version of the game with Zelda and Link swapped, then replaced by my then gf and I, that asked my then gf out on a date when she beat the first dungeon.

She then proceeded to nearly trip over me when I got down on one knee at the end of that date.

For the job that started my career, I was one of three candidates out of 35 who didn't wear a suit to the first round, and I was still hired.

I turned a seasonal internship plugging in computers into a full time sysadmin/engineering position in the span of three and a half years, skipping a few intermediate positions at that workplace.

I have scripted business critical systems integrations at my workplace, that have impact on literally every employee.

I was the first person in my social circle to be able to afford a house, and my wife and I are the first ones who wanted a kid and had one intentionally.

And a "secret": I only have a list this big because I have to remind myself of reasons to be proud of myself. Left to my own devices, I don't tend to think I'm worth much, so every few years I sit down and try to make a little mental list. This is the combination of multiple ones.