this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2026
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Explain Like I'm Five
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Sure. We have schemas, or organized thoughts in our memories. Schemas can be molded with our parents, such that we learn "My dad is abusive toward me because I'm a terrible person". These types of schemas are built even though the child is not responsible at all for their own abuse. But the reality is that many children find it more likely that they are the problem compared to their guardians being the problem.
That same child could have a wonderful teacher in school, someone who is caring, understanding, curious about the child's interests, and consistent. The child could then learn "I'm safe here with this teacher and unsafe with my own guardians". That's how you get different schemas built in different contexts.
You probably know this already, down in your heart. You probably have people that you like to be around, people that are a bit kinder and a bit more consistent than others. And you also probably have people that you don't like to be around, people that are unkind and inconsistent.
If you want to learn more about this contextual way of looking at attachment styles, you can check out Piaget's schema theory and contextual behavioral sciences.
Just got this. That makes sense! It's a really easy to understand explanation thanks for taking the time to write it out