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I'm 38. I was raised Muslim. I was a pretty good Muslim until about 18-19. I have had quite a journey with my feelings on religion.
When I was young, I hated all the rules and being told that I can't drink or I can't date. I eventually read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins(ok yes I know, I was young and didn't know better) which opened my eyes to the possibility that there are other ways of looking at the world. I think I completely abandoned my faith by the time I was 23. I spent most of my 20s pretty much ignoring religion.
I will say, the religious people I actually respect, the ones who really do live by the ideals of loving your fellow humans, forgiveness, being nonjudgmental, they never made me feel judged. They accepted me as I was and never made a big deal about it. It was mostly my parents generation who did judge. So I knew that religious people came in all shapes and sizes and I knew that not all of them were the rule enforcing crazies like my parents.
I never resented religious people. I resented my parents and the way they used religion to control me. As I grew up, I felt a lack of community. Capitalism does that to us. It alienates us from our friends and neighbors. It makes us feel alone. And when I got into my 30s, I understood the main reason many people want to belong to a religious group. It creates an actual third space. It creates a community space you can show up to for free and hang out with your friends and discuss whatever's on your mind.
Growing up one of the things I remember my grandfather used to say about going to Jummah(that's the Muslim version of going to church). He said that Jummah is for the community to get together. And I remember going to Jummah as a kid. My friends would go play basketball in the parking lot and the older people would drink tea and chat.
And as a man in his mid 30s, I realized that I suddenly felt alienated from the people I grew up with and from the community to which I actually do belong. Running away from the rules based control but I lost the one thing that mattered and will continue to matter in our increasingly alienated capitalist world; community.
I'm a doctor and the mosque I grew up in has a free clinic open to everyone (anyone of any faith can go). They provide free medications l, free pap smears, formula for new mothers, free doctors visits. And they invite anyone who needs help to come. I started volunteering at that clinic a few years ago. This is the religion I believe in. Bring everyone together. Take care of your community.
I don't really care much for theology, I don't care much for rules. I still drink and have premarital sex(tho not for much longer, I'm getting married next month). But my religion believes in taking care of the community. My religion gives you a space to hang out for free. My religion welcomes everyone.