this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2026
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It's not about what cis people think, it's about what's convenient for them.
"Normal" trans person getting even just slightly upset by the shit they said to them? Inconvenient and uncomfortable for them. You'd have to rethink your transphobic biases and overcome the "icky" feeling, or, goddess behold, apologize to them.
Buck Angel type that fully agrees with all the dumb shit you say about them? Convenient and relatable. Just keep dishing out your hot takes and have fun feeling superior while the inferior life form pats you on the back, without having to fear any awkwardness whatsoever.
This is also the reason why cis people constantly complain about having to walk on eggshells around us and why they lash out so aggressively whenever we even just slightly criticise them: They only care about their comfort. Their comfort trumps all, especially our well-being. Doesn't matter if the things we say are true, because admitting that they were wrong about us leads to them feeling awkward, and we can't have that, right?
I agree and i'd take it a step further, the entire reason why assimilation works on an individual level (and at the expense of the entire rest of the community) is that most people need to be told they're morally integer and to be absolved of their complicity in an obviously godawful and violent system. And when one of the good ones tells them "no, it's ok to joke about that, you're alright, you're not transphobic / racist / homophobic / misogynist etc. etc.", it reduces friction, it means they can go on with less cognitive dissonance burdening them.
The assimilationist is a tool for the psychological hygiene of dominant society, like a medieval monk handing out allowances.
I don't get it, always seemed weird to me that people would base their entire gender on letting a doctor look at their junk for 3 seconds and then go with whatever estimate they made based entirely on that.