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Tailscale service configs for HTTPS ingress and DNS resolution. Podman quadlets / podlets for everything except backup software and tailscale itself. I use the open version of VS code to edit config files in place, but I push them to a private git as well as having them backed up. Storage for app data, media, and configs (everything but OS) is via NFS shares from my gaming PC's RAID volume. I can run a plenty of apps on an old thinkpad this way. After you configure the first few quadlets with tailscale, it gets real straightforward, but there is a learning curve. Yes, I use SSH, but it is the remote conmection and terminal in Code.
Oh yeah, podman let's me run all the containers as user-space systemd services.