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And this
So I would not say it is that rare to live happy married life. But it is not like everyone is getting this life. With a hard work I think it is totally possible and is not that rare at all... Although none of those studies give a direct answer on how many happy lifelong relationships there are. One can conclude somewhere between 30-40% of relationships are happy lifelong relationship. And even if this number is lower like 10-20% this is still a very significant number.
When I talk about relationships with my sister she has similar view as you. She can almost never see a truly happy relationship. While I can see it everywhere
It turned out our environments are drastically different. For example she met all of her partners at parties. This is not a general population. While I met my wife in school.
I made most of my friends in school or at work or from being a neighbor (ie owning a house). Most of them are educated and with higher income. If I remember correctly those also have better statistics for relationship success. While my sisters friends are none of that.
I believe it would be wise for you to check if your environment screwed your view too.
Whoa, that's a very nice reply! Thank you, and thank you for taking it seriously, too. I was being downvoted and I was hoping you hadn't taken the question the wrong way. I'm glad that's not the case because I'm genuinely curious.
Ah, I should've stated that I'm gay. That's the biggest factor. It feels like it multiplies all those percentages by a way smaller fraction because the dating pool is a puddle. I honestly don't see many people that I like who would be interested in a monogamous relationship because I think queer culture in my country has different priorities, so it feels like it raises the stakes and the pressure every time I give a relationship a go with someone who seems compatible. I've even changed my views to match the culture, but no luck yet.
And let me just vent this, but my luck has run so ridiculously bad that even the guy who bragged about having had three different 5-year relationships and got me starry-eyed left out that his last one had been abusive for years and tried that shit on me too. These things tend to linger in my mind, y'know? It's rough out there.
I down vote stuff for many reasons. In your case it was disagreeing with your view. This next reply I upvoted because I liked your nice response.
I can see only having gay dating pool could screw that statistics by a lot. I admit I do not know a lot about gay community. While I know the (not sure how real) stereotype about way more common one night relationships. I still think this still varies a lot depending on whre you are searching.
Homosexuals I know (in my environment) are all in a very long relationships. My gay neighbors have been married for 10+ years. My gay schoolmate has been in a relationship for a few years and I have no doubt they will eventually marry and live a very happy life.
While I can imagine those percentage being lower in gay community I still believe they are quite significant. Maybe you just have to search in a different environment.