Ask Lemmy

I actually has another language, but kinda never used it. The Mandarin part of my brain is sort of "inactive" ever since I immigrated to the US, because I mostly like to watch western content, and Chinese drama is way too censored, cliche, and never explores new concepts Most of the stuff is WW2 drama, or its about the distsnt past like the imperial dynasties, its too much cringy romance stuff, has this weird conservative "men strong, woman weak" trope, no LGBT characters, no plot twists because every plot is follows a predictible pattern. I never once seen an accurate portrayal of child abuse. Its always the kid character being portrayed as a psycopath, and they never portray the parents with any sort of blame. So much Filial Piety propaganda in everyday media.

And ever since I had depression, I feel like none of the people in the Chinese-American community (those who were born in China) could even understand what depression is like. Whereas at least those who grew up under a western culture sort of understands what depression is.

I just don't find Mandarin to be very useful, so its kinda a repressed memory now.

I mean, what would communicating with mainland Chinese people even look like? Those nationalists are just gonna call me a "汉奸" (han traitor) merely for the fact that I'm living in the west. Hearing a Chinese language whether it be Cantonese or Mandarin give me PTSD because of how toxic the community is.

I mean, I'm cis, but imagine if I came out as trans or gay (I'm not, I'm saying hypothetically if I were), my parents would tell me to go to the 18th level of hell and my entire extended family would look at me in a weird way. I'm struggling with depression and everyone just assumes I'm being lazy. No fuck off, I don't need your stupid necklace to "protect me from evil spirits", I need my meds. I sort of just expect anyone speaking Cantonese or Mandarin to be extremely conservative.

As for other languages, they tried teaching spanish in middle school and highschool but I didn't retain and memory of most of it. Unless they were taking us on a school trip to Spain or Mexico, its very impractical to learn it. And I do not live in a hispanic nighborhood so its practically impossible to learn. I mean, I couldn't think of a scenario where I ever needed to speak another language. And I already understand enough Cantonese to understand my parents gossipping with other people, I don't really want to have a conversation with them anyways, so no need to expand my vocabulary.