this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
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[–] RvTV95XBeo@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago

We created a totally secure and definitely unguessable (Probably Unique)™ identifier system - an MD5 hash of FirstnameLastname-DOB

Oh also with this new totally flawless system, you're now legally obligated to recite I'm full your (Probably Unique)™ 32-character hash to any ICE agents who request it. Failure to do so will result in detainment.

For immigrants, we will happily tattoo your (Probably Unique)™ hash on your wrist for your convenience.