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I know you're being sarcastic, but I can give you an actual answer from when I was a Dreamcast owner.
One of the wonderful things about the Dreamcast modem is that you can configure it skip dial tone detection. You can them take an old telephone line (the kind you'd plug into the wall, then to the modem), cut it in half and a couple of resistors in specific places. You take that modified cable and plug one end into your Dreamcast, then the other into a modem in PC. You then set up Dial up routing software on your PC. There's a lite version built into Windows 98 if my memory is correct (Dial up networking services Server). Initiate the Dreamcast to dial (it doesn't matter what phone number). The PC answers (you hear the dial up handshake squaking), and your Dreamcast is online! You can use the Dreamcast browser or online Dreamcast games like Timesplitters. If you did this long enough ago you could also play the MMOs like Phantasy Star Online.
Ha! Sorry, I didn't mean to be intentionally vague. I didn't think people would actually care about doing this today. Here's complete steps for you to do it yourself. I posted from memory from doing this myself 25 years ago or so. I had to go look up the actual schematic and found someone else did a slightly more modern take on the software side too. The cable is still the same basic design premise to offer a line voltage to the modems I used way back when.
source
I was using a higher value capacitor (because I was poor and using scrap parts) which also forced me to put a 100 Ohm resistor in series on the output to get good consistent connections. If you can get exact values, use the ones pictured in that parts list instead of my hack job.
If you like this era of gaming you might enjoy !retrogaming@lemmy.world
Hah, sorry, I was just kidding, but I do love to see people on this platform doing the legwork (and I try to do the same myself) – it makes it so markedly different to most places on the web. Respect.