this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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What's the best chat to self host? (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by gedaliyah@lemmy.world to c/selfhosted@lemmy.world
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I'm looking into a few different chat servers, probably just for family on my tailnet.

I like the idea that simplex allows video chat. My server is a repurposed optiplex 3060so I think it should be able to handle it. Is anyone doing this? Do you think it's worth it?

Should I be considering other options like XMPP?

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[–] Yaky@slrpnk.net 31 points 8 months ago (4 children)

IMO Snikket (XMPP) is the easiest all-in-one solution with audio/video chat at the moment. Pretty good on resources too.

I currently host a Matrix Synapse server, but:

  • Matrix seems to be expanding in the corporate / institutional direction, more services are expected for regular functionality
  • Element X (upcoming client) breaks calls compatibility with old Element, now requiring Element Call. It's kind of a mess, I presume this is to support group calls, but makes it a PITA to use currently.
  • Even with small number of users, Synapse DB grows in size due to state_groups_state table, non-deletable users, and copying ALL data from other servers' rooms (this one is by design but still...)
[–] Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I have gone down the matrix rabbit hole but i choose Continuwity, which is the successor to Conduwuit after the community drama.

It's a rust server alternative to synapse, it's lightweight and works very well.

Fuck synapse, it's a colossal pain for small servers, not worth it. I also actively avoid anything related to the company behind it since I think they poison what matrix could be.

I wish I started with XMPP, but now I am selfhosted on matrix, so.

[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Lol, exact same situation here.

Quick question, did the migration to continuwuity break calls for you as well?

[–] Shimitar@downonthestreet.eu 1 points 8 months ago

Never used calls...

[–] ohshit604@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Snikket locked my docker service up, their documentation sucks for when you want to use your own reverse proxy or bind it behind a docker network and not the host.

[–] Botzo@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I haven't run snikket before, but it looks straightforward to me. Maybe the documentation has improved?

[–] ohshit604@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Doesn’t cover Traefik, plus the docker-compose.yml contains 4 separate images and researching into them didn’t provide much info. snicket_proxy, snikket_certs, snikket_portal and snikket_server. All four of these images bind to the host but if I am supplying my own reverse proxy then both snikket_proxy and snikket_certs are redundant right? Or do they serve another purpose? And if I wanted to take them off the host network, follow their firewall guide and expose the necessary ports manually behind a docker bridge network what images do I bind those ports to? When I tried binding them all to snikket_server that’s when my docker service crashed and I gave up.

[–] Botzo@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

I see. Yeah, that compose file is gross unless you're running this on a dedicated vps, and even then...

[–] brewery@feddit.uk 3 points 8 months ago

Thanks! I didn't know about this and it is from the developers of prosody (currently mentioned in the top reply) so will definitely be trying it! https://blog.prosody.im/introducing-snikket/

[–] tired_n_bored@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Trying Tuwunnel, works very well