this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2025
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Where once people were duped by soft-focus photos and borrowed chat-up lines, now they have to watch out for computer-generated charm. But it’s one thing to use a witty phrase – another thing entirely to build a whole fake persona …

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

Everyone is attractive to someone, not necessarily by the looks, but by the spirit, character, and a personal charm.

The problem is dating apps and how they shaped our dating sphere overall.

Aside from intentionally picking mediocre partners with algorithms so you could never find a date and stay there forever, generating profits, the very structure of dating apps is super wrong.

What do you see on most of them? A big photo and a tiny bit of text, which for most people ends up very generic. But looks is only one small part of the picture, and one that doesn't ultimately decide the fate of relationships for most people. It is exactly that text part that matters, and it cannot be a one-liner.

To get to know someone, you have to talk, interact, and this very interaction is what breathes life into relationships and makes a date an actual date, and not just an evening stroll.

I am certain you know something that will be interesting, amusing, funny to someone, that some people out there would love you as a partner. But, for the love of God, do not look for that someone on dating apps. You're wasting your time and confidence in a loop designed to have you do just that.

Oh and - it is great that you don't have several dates a week. This fucks up so bad with the very idea of romance. Relationships are not bargaining chips and not scores to make track of. When you "date" like you choose your new jacket, all the magic and butterflies are gone.

You're good, don't screw yourself up and you'll be golden. Speaking as someone with mid looks and personality and a lot of social awkwardness, while being in healthy long relationships with adorable partner.