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Though the process is also something that is subject to external validation?
Say I'm learning to drive, but I keep failing the test. The goal/achievement is the end result; driver's license. However my process of getting to that goal is sub-par compared to others, or "the average". I'm stuck in the process itself, having many more lessons than others, but I have no apparent reason to struggle? Isn't that infuriating?
In the example, you're comparing yourself to others, by matter of outcome. And getting upset in the process.
Instead let's say you stick to the process. You investigate why you failed. Parallel parking? Okay, fuck that. I'm gonna parallel park my mom's van 10x a day when I get home from school and not fuck that up next time.
Now you've learned to humbly overcome failure rather than get emotional about comparing your outcome to that of others.