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Owncloud Infinite Scale was a rewrite of the codebase to get away from PHP. In theory this should be better able to run on lower end hardware. People tend to say they use it if they are only wanting the file part and not all the apps. Personally I use Nextcloud because I want the apps.
Automatic certificate renewal is built into many reverse proxies, and can be done for free, so I don't see a reason not to do it.
Nextcloud has federation of some features so I'd guess that would be a key reason you can't change the domain (you also can't change a Lemmy domain once set up). However, you're using it for file sync for yourself, right? Regardless of what you pick (even Nextcloud), you could surely just set up a new instance under the new domain then move all your files over.
Do you have any recommendations for a reverse proxy to use or resources on how to set one up? It's not something I've properly looked into yet
Check out caddy. Very straight forward syntax for a reverse proxy.
Others might have suggestions. I run everyhting in docker. I then use Traefik as the reverse proxy in docker, where you add labels to the containers you want it to handle and it works things out on it's own. I have also configured it to do certificates automatically, including automatic domain validation using a Cloudflare API.
Caddy and Nginx Proxy Manager are other popular ones that can configure HTTPS certificates for you.
You don't have to overthink it. Choose a reverse proxy you like. If it does automatic certificates, that's great. If not, Let's Encypt (which most of these services use for the free certificates) have a certbot program you install and run on a cronjob to renew certificates.