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"How do I deal with friends or family members that are autistic?"
Well, one way is to try to actually understand them and where they're coming from and what they're really saying. Actually have the conversation and engage.
If you haven't actually tried to do that, then this is 100% on you.
If you HAVE tried to, and actually cannot have a conversation, you still have choices. You could hold a side conversation with somebody else. You could leave the space. You could try to out-compete them in talking over you, if that's the case, and hold your ground. You could also just stand up, and give them a hug and tell them it's gonna be okay, as a lot of people just come from a place of fear.
However, something about your wording and perspective leads me to believe you are not the type of person who can rise to an occasion and converse with difficult subjects with upset people, or have the emotional fortitude to deal with a neurodivergent person. Have you thought about maybe just not inviting them, or just avoiding them, altogether? Because being passive aggressive like you seem isn't the way. Even if, in your gatherings, it is acceptable or common, I encourage you to not sink to that level of toxic manipulation, if you can really help it.
Depending on the subject of your subject, you may steer the conversation into a more entertaining perspective or topic that's good for both of you.
In the worst case, though, you can always go outside for a quick run or walk and refresh your mind.
Edit: if it is just straight up abuse, which your description does not lead me to believe, but other comments presume, I do encourage you to treat it as the conflict that it is, appropriately.