Good riddance
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2026
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Technology
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in essence its just to get men to keep swiping, and become the "product/data" to be sold. thats why its dying.
I’ve paid for a few to see if it helps - It does and I feel like it was worth it up until 2 years ago when they changed how matching works. But you know what doesn’t work, people telling the truth on their profile. So great, I had better matches or in my case on bumble, better choice for matches based on who liked me. But damn if Jeni from the town next door loved “hiking” when really she just loved watching tv and one day wanted to “be more active”. She also told me she wanted to move to Spain one day… guess who also wanted to move to Europe ( Spain, wherever) - me! But I got the job and she’s pulling the “well not yet!!!” and in the end just wanted to visit and knew I have money to do this. P.s. I live in Spain now.
Each profile is a crafted (and truth bending) aspect of your life for others to review and I hate how it doesn’t capture the truth of who you really are in person. I went in being honest and found women who liked the same, but yet they were never really who they were on the app. I found my best matches when I wasn’t truthful or bent the truth a tad but yet I never stayed together long.
Best girlfriend so far, met her organically on the beach because my dog went over to say hi by licking her face. She’s a bit over the top, has tattoos everywhere including a funny phrase on her ass, but she’s the most compatible woman I’ve met so far.
So uh…this funny phrase tatoo…pics or it ain't real, internet rules 😂🤣.
They were a silly concept to begin with. If they worked well, they'd kill their own business model. To stay economically viable they therefore have to use all kinds of tricks and produce mixed-at-best results, and cognitive manipulation to keep their user base entertained. Glad to see them finally collapse
Or arguably it's the issue with running then as an unregulated business to begin with. It'd almost be better if it was just run as a public/non-profit database service: here's an anonymised, clinical, filterable list of other people who are looking for a relationship, and a safe way to connect with them. Like all other online services it'd be killed off by bots, trolls, and creeps, but still... If it's in the public's general interest for people to be in relationships?
Let me filter the bots, trolls, and creeps myself. I don't need a rent-seeking middleman for that.
(My wife's pickup line was trolling the shower curtains in my photo)
I never really believed that montra of if they were successful they lose a customer. I met my wife on a dating site over 13 years ago and told everyone I knew about it and how good it was. Many of the people that I told tried the site. It's a great way to spread your business if anything then through natural word of.mouth you actually kinda weed out people who are looking for the wrong things. Unfortunately the one I used ok cupid was bought by the big conglomerate and they change it so it was just like all the others. The other place I see it working is if governments offered the service because they want people to be matched up. I get people might not trust the government to match them up but why would you trust a company to do it then.
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From my own experience: dating apps all suck. Everything is staged, way too focused on visuals instead of inner values, etc. People get so lost in their and other peoples' appearance. Furthermore, the profit incentive makes the platform milk desperate users. Don't ever pay for otherwise free apps. They use you. Give you hope just as your subscription runs out, etc.
What I can personally recommend: dating subreddits like r4r. Reddit, I know, but the community on Lemmy is too small. You can meet people at your own speed and there is no profit incentive that ruins the platform for users. The algorithm treats all users more or less fairly, too.
Good
why? didnt find anyone? Ive had great success tbh - married, 2 kids not sure if its just luck or incidental or what
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All of them being opened by a single money grubbing company, which has enshitified them to an accounting degree has not helped
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Are they? All my friends in their 30s have more than one app. Or had it, when they were single.
What has really been dying for quite some time is "third spaces". That's what we need to get back really, beyond dating. Just plain socializing and enjoying togetherness.
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